no heartbeat or growth

[sarahkm]

Hi,

We went to our MFM appointment this AM and there was no heartbeat or growth. I am 9 weeks along. So I'll be having a D and C in the next couple weeks. I have not had any symptoms of a miscarriage.

This sucks! Mostly because we have to wait a couple months before trying again!
This pregnancy was such good timing, but I guess it wasn't meant to be...

Any advice on getting through the D and C and the next 3 months?

Sarah

[fineolin]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel as I lost my baby on December 8th. I had a D n C December 13. I opted to do outpatient D n C becuase I did not want to have anesthesia. The process was not painful, however, it can be physically uncomfortable. The emotional aspect is the worst, and just waiting for the whole thing to be over. This is such a hard time of the year, and losing your child during the holiday seasons just seems cruel. My advice is lean on your husand, friends, and family. My friends have been wonderful. Let your body and mind heal, and keep trying.

[wrennie]

so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage early this year and it was such a disappointment. It really helped me to focus on the present, getting through the D&C, and recovering first. I tried to force the trying again out of my mind as much as possible. After a month goes by, you will be feeling back to normal and getting anxious,and the wait is hard, but 3 months really goes by fast in the grand scheme of things.

Personally, i have this thing about planning vacations. When i lost my first baby, and also after this recent miscarriage, i planned nice beach vacations right before being able to try again. It let me focus on the trip instead of the wait. Id recommend that as a plan if you have the funds. Go somewhere fun, regroup, focus on getting your spirit and energy back! Hope these next few weeks go by quickly for you, it just really stinks.

[fineolin]

I agree with carin. After my miscarriage 3 weeks ago, I admitted booked a new years trip to the caribbean. I figured I can regroup and refocus. A vacation, if you can afford it, is an excellent idea.

[sarahkm]

Thanks for your responses. Planning a vacation is exactly what I'm doing since my husband will have vacation time again. Unfortunately we have to watch our pennies since I lost my job and my last day was December 16...But we'll figure something out.

My husband is concerned about adverse effects from a D and C. So far I haven't read anything about problems other then possible infection. We have not specifically asked the OB yet. I guess my husband read something about uterine scarring. I figure that the risk for that is low since the fetus is so small at this point.

Thanks! Sarah

[danielsmom]

*sigh*... I'm so sorry to hear this. Some pregnancies are just not right from the start. I had hoped it was, but I remember you posting about your earlier concerns. I know exactly how it feels, the disappointment, primarily from a loss, and then also because of the wait to try again.

As far as D&Cs... I've had 3. All were very soon after we found out the pregnancy hadn't progressed, like within a day. The emotional pain was way worse than the physical, but it brought closure. I'd almost say, physically, it was relatively painless. I didn't even take any pain medication after the last 2. I just mostly stayed in bed that day and took it easy the days following.

As far as scarring, that was a big concern of mine. I had read that scarring is only a real concern when you've had multiple D&Cs, and I was nervous about my 3rd. I was adamant with my doctor that I would be fine with miscarrying at home, if it meant I'd save my uterus any damage. He assured me that it would not be an issue for future pregnancy. As far as infection, it is a small risk with D&C, but there might be a bigger risk of infection with a missed miscarriage (you don't expell on your own). I'm sure they're recommending this because it's the best option.

He also told me that we could start trying as soon as I became regular again, so it may not take as long as 3 months. Hang in there.

[sarahkm]

Hello again,

My D and C is scheduled for Friday the 30th afternoon, 5 years almost to the day that we lost our son. I had a good conversation with the OB tonight that will be doing the procedure. My main concern is having to recover from general anesthesia. But they say that I should be able to go home after 3 to 4 hours.
I really hope the pain afterwards is not too bad so I don't have to be on a narcotic! Because of my kidneys, I can't take any OTC pain relievers except for tylenol.
My parents are arriving to visit for a week on Saturday which will be good. My mom is always helpful with cooking and such. We have family get togethers scheduled for the 1st and 2nd so hopefully I'll do ok at those too. I know I will need to take it easy though.
Honestly, I'm doing ok emotionally. My husband and I have been through so much in the last 5 years that this is not too difficult. I just hope that we can conceive again pretty quickly.

After this, I guess I'll go back to the TTC message boards!

Thanks again. Sarah

[kerisue]

Oh I'm so sorry. After losing your son you deserved nothing but a worry free pregnancy of smooth sailing- not another loss.

[mychaelelaine]

So sorry! Hugs and prayers!