A fellow 16 weeker, yay! I've been wondering if I had any bump buddies out there near the same gestation. First of all, I'm happy to hear that your daughter is doing well and running around the house.
I also stay at home with an almost 3 year old, occasionally working contract part time from home.
I turned down a high stress/high demand contract a few weeks ago to clear the way for this pregnancy, whatever the outcome, and offered instead to consult on the project, which will be much less stress. It was a hard decision, and humbling to give up, but the baby's health and mine are more important. The rest of life can wait or take a hike. We have to make a conscious proactive effort to remove our "stressors" (and let our husbands help). Like you, my MFM told me that pre-e was destined to happen last time, but that my stress (not related to work, but doom and gloom ultrasounds) may have fueled the flame. It's a priority of mine to relax, and remember that this is in God's hands.
I think you and I might have a bit of "white coat syndrome". Ordinarily our BP is low, around 100/60, but occasionally it can creep up 20 or 30 points at the doctor's office. I always get great readings at home. It's no wonder why we'd get a bit anxious there.
Our poor husbands!
They not only worry about our babies, but us too. I asked mine last night that if everything went great this time, would he want to try again for #3. He's fairly certain he can't handle the stress again. He said he would be happy and content with just our son (though he was persuaded to try for #2). We'll see, but I think we're done after this too! Sorry, no real wisdom in this post, but I'll be thinking of you and praying for a good outcome.