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I'm not making this up

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I'm not making this up

Postby MissingMolly » Sat Jan 07, 2012 03:22 am

by MissingMolly (41 Posts), Sat Jan 07, 2012 03:22 am

Okay, so I went to see my primary doctor today about possibly getting on an antidepressant, and she asked me, was I still sad because of my pregnancy? Um, yeah, it's only been a little over 2 months since my baby died and I almost died. Add to that the worry of potentially never being able to have a successful pregnancy in the future. I was crying a little and wiping the tears away, at which point she asked me, "When was the last time you saw an eye doctor? Have your eyes been leaking like that a lot?"

I have to hand it to her: She almost succeeded in making me laugh.
Mommy to Molly, who was born alive on Oct. 29, 2011 at 23+3 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia/HELLP syndrome and passed away 3 hours later. Loved and missed every minute of every day...."If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby caryn » Sat Jan 07, 2012 11:20 am

by caryn (10131 Posts), Sat Jan 07, 2012 11:20 am

*headdesk*
Science! The articles you don't want to miss:
The Preeclampsia Puzzle (New Yorker) and Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy (New York Times)
Looking for recent articles and studies? Lectures from researchers?
A chance to participate in research? For us on Facebook or Twitter?

Caryn, @carynjrogers, who is not a doctor and who talks about science stuff *way* too much
DS Oscar born by emergent C-section at 34 weeks for fetal indicators, due to severe PE
DD Bridget born by C-section after water broke at 39 weeks after a healthy pregnancy
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby rosemary » Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:56 am

by rosemary (2360 Posts), Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:56 am

I am sitting here trying to think of something to say...the only word that comes to my mind is...unbelievable. It's hard to imagine that a doctor could be so out of touch, or just seem so insensitive. I'm sorry that was her response. Always remember that there are other doctors out there that can help. You deserve to be listened to and treated with care and compassion. Doctoring is about a lot more than tests and meds. Wishing you peace and healing. (((HUGS)))
Rosemary - 47 - Central, PA
Momma to Kayleigh 8/25/88 - 36 weeks
Elliott 8/29/04 - lost at 20 weeks due to severe PE/HELLP
Proud Grandma to Max Allen 10/19/10.
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby sam10 » Sat Jan 07, 2012 03:09 pm

by sam10 (1441 Posts), Sat Jan 07, 2012 03:09 pm

:shock: speechless, that's what I am!
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Sat Jan 07, 2012 06:16 pm

by holly3372@msn.com (478 Posts), Sat Jan 07, 2012 06:16 pm

UGH!!! Really? Wow what an asshole!!! Yep that's exactly what I have to say. I am sure you won't see her again! I cried a river the first year and didn't sleep for almost 6 months!! So sorry!!!
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby Shannonlynn » Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:56 am

by Shannonlynn (102 Posts), Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:56 am

I'm really sorry about her insensitivity. I can't talk about the subject of my son's birth and death without at least tearing up, if not balling my eyes out. It's been nine months and it will always be there. I hope you find a caring physician to help you on your journey.
Shannonlynn-mommy to Frederick Otto "Fritzy"
born May 6, 2011, became an angel one hour later
Severe PE at 24 weeks to the day
Gavin Walden born 8-4-12,lovenox, folgard, lda, prenatals. PE and HELLP free.
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby MissingMolly » Sun Jan 08, 2012 02:35 pm

by MissingMolly (41 Posts), Sun Jan 08, 2012 02:35 pm

Thanks, ladies. I get the sense that she is just one of those people who is not very emotional or who doesn't have a very high emotional IQ--and it's pretty obvious she's never experienced such a loss. I was glad in a certain sense that she said that, though, because it reminded me to tell her about the visual disturbance I had in the store the other day. A cloudiness descended over part of my right eye and had a bright (like lightening) edge to it. It went away after about 20 minutes. Also, my blood pressure when I went in to see her was 168/110 so she put me on metoprolol. I don't understand what's going on with my body! My blood pressures were always 110s/60s until I hit the 2nd trimester. Do the after-effects of pre-e/HELLP usually last this long? So frustrating. Pretty soon, I'm going to be a walking pharmacy.

Good doctors are so hard to find. I've rarely encountered a doctor I like--sad, but true. I'm somewhat restricted right now because I have an HMO, but I plan on switching to a PPO as soon as I get the chance.
Mommy to Molly, who was born alive on Oct. 29, 2011 at 23+3 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia/HELLP syndrome and passed away 3 hours later. Loved and missed every minute of every day...."If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby m » Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:17 pm

by m (140 Posts), Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:17 pm

That is unbelievably insensitive! If it wasn't so horrible, it would be funny. I guess I should be grateful that my primary doctor was so great about helping me through my second pregnancy.
DS 2/5/09 - 2/13/09; severe PE at 28 weeks
DD March 2010; PIH, preterm labor at 36 weeks, 10 days NICU
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby kerisue » Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:05 pm

by kerisue (623 Posts), Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:05 pm

Some physicians just don't get it. I saw my primary care doc just a couple weeks after Millie died. She was so cold and clinical and just threw the anti-depressants at me as if that would solve everything. I hadn't even asked for them and at that point didn't even want them! I'm so sorry you got someone insensitive like that too. (I will say that later on- months later- I found the anti-d's helpful.)
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed
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Re: I'm not making this up

Postby angieb » Tue Jan 10, 2012 05:59 pm

by angieb (1192 Posts), Tue Jan 10, 2012 05:59 pm

ugh.

hugs to you.
Me (29) DH (30)
#1-Olivia Caetlyn-9-28-09-9-28-09, 23+2 wks, emergency classic c-section, class I HELLP, IUGR
#2- Lucas Oliver (rainbow baby)- April 2011, 36+2 wks, HELLP and pre-e free! (lovenox and LDA pregnancy)
#3-Matthew, late October 2012...mostly normal, 37 wks, (lovenox and LDA again)
My blog: http://www.butterflies-and-rainbows.blogspot.com/
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