Seeing an MFM on Thursday!

[flori]

Would it be rude to lead with "So do you think I should just not try again?"

I never worried about it until recently, but now I'm terrified. I had always envisioned the meeting going well and we'd talk about a plan for next pregnancy, but what if she says not to bother?

I have HTN, I still have some weight to lose, and HELLP and pre-e came SO early last time! That's like 40 jokers in my deck.

Ahhhhhhh!

[flori]

Oh and I'm 31, going on 32 in December. The two year window will close next March.

I'm biting my nails in nervousness.

[lisa112]

Hi Flori, although I can't offer much advice as I'm in the same boat as you, I wanted to wish you luck at your next appointment and that I hope it goes well. I too am 31 going on 32 in December and lost my little girl in January due to NEC, but delivered her at 30 wks b/c of severe PE and HELLP. At my follow up appointment with my ob asking her if I could try again was one of the first things I asked her and had feared her telling me no. She told me that I could but that I would have to wait 6 months. I have an appointment with a MFM two weeks from tomorrow and am so scared of what he is going to say. You are not alone in your fears and anxiety. Reading stories from others of successful pregnancies and bringing home a baby in the end inspires me and brings me hope that it can happen, eventhough the fear is not too far behind. Sending you strength, hugs, and hope.

[sam10]

I did ask that question also, and I see no reason not to voice your concerns. I even asked about the chances of dying myself The MFM is the person to ask exactly these questions. Even thought s/he won't be able to tell you if you'll get it again in a subsequent pregnancy, your specific case of PE/HELLP and your overall health will be assessed, so you'll know what your chances are.
Pre-consults are nerve wracking, and due to my fear forgetting everything that would be discussed, I brought my husband (4 ears are better than 2), a notebook and pen, and had written down all kinds of questions. If you need help with what questions to ask, let me know and I'll dig up some old threads around this topic.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[kerisue]

I think whether you should try again and what your chances might be of successfully carrying a future pregnancy are legitimate questions to ask a MFM. I have heard of "regular" OBs recommending folks not try to conceive again (including my own!) but I haven't heard of an MFM recommending somone not try to conceive again after having PE or HELLP once, even if it was early and severe (which doesn't mean they wouldn't recommend against pregnancy, just that I haven't heard of it happening). Though you may legitimately come to that decision yourself, if you want to TTC again and the MFM recommends against it I would get a 2nd opinion before doing anything radical.

Thinking about trying to conceive again IS terrifying. You want the joy of motherhood again so badly and yet there's so much potential for more grief and sorrow. Let us know what comes out of your appointment and discussions with the doc! Hoping for the best for you.

[JB]

After I delivered at 29 weeks from severe PE my OB advised me to never get pregnant again and pushed for me to have my tubes tied. I was not ready to give up trying for a second child, so when I got pregnant again I found a new OB. It happened within six months of delivery and was unplanned (partly due to issues getting birth control from my OB.. it's a long story and part of the reason I wanted a new OB), so I didn't get a chance to consult with an MFM in advance. The new OB was not discouraging, but was concerned and cautious. She referred me to an MFM, who was much less worried about my pregnancy. He was very optimistic about my chances of a good outcome, and left me in my new OB's care (though he did remain available to her on a consulting basis). If I develop blood pressure issues that my OB can't keep under control, I will be transferred to his care.

Good luck with your appointment! If you do decide to try again, both you and your doctor will be better prepared for dealing with any problems that come up. I think being prepared and close monitoring can make a big difference in outcomes.

[MomTimesThree]

Doh! I was just over there today!

For what it's worth, I would hear what she has to say in general about your situation and then ask. It's a totally legitimate question to ask and you should take the time to ask everything on your list ('cause you'll have 'em all written down right? )

Good luck and keep us posted!

[cmccaffrey]

IF the mfm were to say that you would know without a doubt that he is NOT the mfm for you! So many women have had similar situations as you and gone to have a successful pregnancy. It's not black or white. I think finding an amazing and supportive MFM is key. So if this person is not even willing to try with you, then he's not the one. I am thinking positive thoughts and praying that you find a doctor who can help you bring home a baby! <3

[flori]

Thank you for all of the replies, well wishes, and hope.

My appointment is tomorrow afternoon at 330 and I am getting more and more nervous!! The day after Gracie passed I was still in the hospital (c-sect recovery) and the MFM who saw me towards the end of my pregnancy came to my room to offer his condolences and we talked for a while. One of the first things he said was "There is nothing preventing you from getting pregnant again" and it was such a ray of light to me at the time. I had my 6 week postpartum with him and he talked more in depth with me about it and again told me that I could try again, after I allowed a year for recovery.

I loved that doctor. Hubs and I seriously contemplated not moving out to Hawaii just so he could be our MFM again in a subsequent pregnancy.. lol. Good thing we did anyway, because shortly after I got here I received a letter saying he left that practice.

Here's a list of what I have so far, please let me know if there's anything you asked at your appointments that you think I should add:

Her thoughts on what happened with Gracie (I'm not sure if my old hospital set my records over, but I will write out a quick summary of the events leading up to the end, just in case)
Whether TTC is an option or not
Recurrence
Her experience with early onset/severe pre-e/HELLP patients
What my care would consist of during pregnancy (MFM visits? OB visits? frequency?)
TTC prep (LDA? more weight loss?)
Diet prior to conception and during
Clomid (could it have affected anything? would a natural conception be better? TWINS?)
Supplementation during (extra folic acid? LDA? vitamin D?)
LOVENOX
Working full-time
Bedrest
Delivery timetables

Julija, I typed my questions out and then searched the forum and found a thread that Christa started where you posted all of your consult questions. I had almost all of them except for the European approach. I wonder if I read it previously and just remembered it? Or maybe I've read enough "what should I ask my MFM" threads to remember...

OK so after yoga and a trip to the beach, I will check the forums one more time tomorrow and add any questions you guys can think of. Thanks for your help!

[sam10]

It seems you got all the right info and know the threads as well where to find them.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.