Our situations are probably all different, but I imagine we have a lot the same. This disease sucks. It affects our livelihood and our families. It puts stress on our marriages.
I haven't lost a child beyond the first trimester, but from a spousal perspective, it may be relevant that my husband has buried a wife. They were both 24 years old, and she went from perfect health to liver failure, sepsis, and multi-organ failure in 30 days. She was a nurse starting a new job. The clinic lost her vaccination records and made her take her hepititis vaccines again, 30 days later she died. It was never proven what the cause was.
I'll never know what went on inside my husband when the MFM told him my liver and kidneys had stopped working, even though he's an incredibly strong man emotionally and spiritually. But we had a happy ending. Needless to say, I desired to try again and expected major resistance from my husband. He was pretty closed off to it at first, kind of like "we have our miracle, let's not rock the boat again." He never had grey hair before all of this, lol! But I was patient, I didn't pressure him, and I tried to share research with him without being pushy. We tried again, and ended up with a life AND fertility threatening pregnancy. After dealing with that, I thought boy I'll never get him to go for this again. Patience works though. Or maybe it's my stunning good looks and persuasive powers...JUST KIDDING!!!
That's my advice. WAIT on him. Ask him gently not to do anything permanent for awhile, so you can both focus on this pregnancy. Tolerate his fears and rash comments without reacting much (easier said than done!). I know my husband had to tolerate mine along the way. I will be bold and say that I'd rather endure physical pain than stress, anyday. Nothing is worse than watching a loved one suffer, to me anyway. Hoping and praying for the best for you guys.