Thank you girls, I think we figured it out - at least for now
Pumping a little before latching helped the most - it also made my breasts less full and he had easier time latching, and being patient and trying over and over again is paying off.
I am lucky to have plenty of milk and the skills/experience from nursing my first son are very useful. Lets see if i can nurse during the day, give bottle of expressed milk at night and continue to pump to have enough supplies before I go back to work June 1 ! These rainbow babies are so special.
I wish all the girls on the forum are as lucky as I am.
son 4/2004 subchorionic hematoma but full term, healthy
1/2011 stillborn twins (IVF) due to severe IUGR/ pre-e 23+3 wks, chronic htn
Jason born 3/21/12, 35w 6 days, healthy 4 lbs 15 oz, 18 in, no pre-e but oligo/iugr, 1 week of NICU for hypoglycemia and mild RDS, doing great ! (thank you labetalol, lda, lovenox and my drs!)