Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby chillman » Thu May 24, 2012 11:04 am

I am soo sorry to hear about your sister. I would love to talk to you as we lost our Daughter in December of 2008 after she delivered her first child too (girl named Abby who is very healthy..) My home phone is *** and cell ***. I know the road of grief is a terrible road and not one we ask for. I am here for you if you wish to contact me. Sending you (((HUGS)))

Cindi Hillman
Last edited by blythe on Thu May 24, 2012 11:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited out phone numbers - forum is publicly searchable, please feel free to share contact info in private messaging!!

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby blythe » Thu May 24, 2012 10:39 am

I am so very, very sorry about your sister's death.

I wish I had solid answers for you, mothers do die of preeclampsia/eclampsia/HELLP today, even in the US, even when they have no risk factors like PCOS or obesity. We don't know exactly how many, but it is too many. Preeclampsia is sometimes slow-moving - the average time from diagnosis to delivery is two weeks, but that average encompasses women who stay relatively stable for weeks or months, and women on the other end of the spectrum who are delivered right away at term - or who get deathly sick in hours. We've had women on our boards who were "fine" at a noon appointment and in full organ failure at 2am that night. We've had women who didn't seem very sick until after they had their babies, and then died postpartum. I am so very sorry that your sister got sick so quickly and died so tragically.

Please let us know any other questions you have, or ask us to keep explaining. Wrapping our minds around this disease is hard in the best of circumstances.
Heather, mom to
#1 7-18-03 - 5#8oz 37 weeks PE/PIH
#2 8-11-06 - 6#14oz 37 weeks PE/PIH
#3 9-10-09 - 5#10oz 37 weeks PE/PIH

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby lulum704 » Thu May 24, 2012 08:32 am

I am so sorry about your lost.... Last April, our family lost my son's girlfriend (Emilly - they were on their way to getting married) and their son (Connor - my first grandson) to preeclampsia. Emilly's family and I worked together to hold a Promise Walk in OKC. We too had never heard of preeclampsia until the loss our family suffered. It is so good of you to be able to be with your brother-in-law and help with the baby through the pain you are suffering. Your neice will need in our life as she grows up to tell her the wonderful stories of her mother.... how she was as a child, how she couldn't wait to hold her.....

Emilly's friends also started a scholarship in her name at the college she had just graduated from the year before... Em's family and us work with them on fundraisers. If you need anything; please do not hesitate to contact me. I will be praying for you and your family.

love, laura
Last edited by blythe on Thu May 24, 2012 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited out phone number - forum is publicly searchable, please feel free to share contact info in private messaging!!
Laura M.
Grandmother to Connor, my sweet angel in Heaven

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby patty » Thu May 24, 2012 08:24 am

(((hugs))) So incredibly sorry for your family's loss. Pre-e is such a terrible disease. I think it is more common to lose a baby then a mom but sometimes the disease does move very suddenly and tragically. I will keep you and your sister's husband and your little niece in my prayers.
Patty mom to: Seth 6-24-95 (severe preeclampsia that got worse postpartum, delivered at 36 weeks), Brooks 9-11-98 (preeclampsia delivered at 35weeks), Sylvia 5-24-01(my only girl, PIH delivered at 38 weeks), Raleigh 2-19-06 (born on my 37th birthday, severe preeclamsia, 3 weeks of hospital bedrest, delivered at 34 weeks) and last but not least little Randall 5-07-08, 3lbs 11oz.(severe preeclampsia, a month of hospital bedrest, delivered at 31weeks, 25days in the NICU with RDS, chest tubes and NEC)

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby laney_p » Thu May 24, 2012 08:07 am

Hi Norinda,

We are so sorry for your loss. I have two sisters myself and can only imagine the pain that you are facing; but you have found such a wonderful community of women who have walked in your shoes. As you can tell from all these posts, we are all here for you, in any way you need. Preeclampsia affects approximately 1 in 12 pregnancies, and about 25% of those face severe consequences, which in our Foundation's opinion, is far too many women and their babies. We are hear to lend an understanding ear.

We also have a wonderful group of volunteers who are our part of Patient Support Network, and who have all been through the grief and loss that is cause by this devastating condition and provide emotional support. If you'd like to talk to one directly by phone, let me know, or you can call our toll-free patient support line at 800-665-9341. Please let us know if there is anything we can do, and don't hesitate to reach out to us directly!
Director of Community Relations for the Preeclampsia Foundation
*does not provide any medical advice*
for more information, please visit www.preeclampsia.org

La Director de Relaciones con la Comunidad
*no ofrece consejo médico*
Se habla español

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby angieb » Thu May 24, 2012 07:55 am

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Praying for your family.
Me (29) DH (30)
#1-Olivia Caetlyn-9-28-09-9-28-09, 23+2 wks, emergency classic c-section, class I HELLP, IUGR
#2- Lucas Oliver (rainbow baby)- April 2011, 36+2 wks, HELLP and pre-e free! (lovenox and LDA pregnancy)
#3-Matthew, late October 2012...mostly normal, 37 wks, (lovenox and LDA again)
My blog: http://www.butterflies-and-rainbows.blogspot.com/

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby annegarrett » Thu May 24, 2012 00:50 am


So sorry for your loss. I sent you a private message. PLEASE feel free to reach out to me directly. I am here for you.

Anne Garrett AddisonFounder, Preeclampsia Foundation
P/E 85, Miscarriage 86, HELLP 96, P/E 99
four healthy sons - life is never dull

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby brandib » Thu May 24, 2012 00:33 am

I am so so sorry that you've lost your sister. You're right, we don't expect to still lose mothers to child birth in 2012. It just doesn't seem right. The Preeclampsia Foundation holds a " Promise Walk for Preeclampsia" in cities across America every May to raise awareness and to raise money so we can search for a cure!! We still don't understand what causes preeclampsia or how we can prevent it. We certainly do not realize why some women die and others get mildly sick. I wish I could help you more. I can tell you though that Preeclampsia affects 5-8% of all pregnancies. 10 million women a year will develop it. As uncommon as it seems with women having a 92-95% chance of NOT getting it, it still feels way too common. I am so glad you've found the forums! We all grieve with you. I am so very sorry for your loss.

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby kerisue » Thu May 24, 2012 00:12 am

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. This awful disease preeclampsia/eclampsia/HELLP has taken so many loved ones, including my own baby girl. I know this is no consolation at all, but at least your niece will have you to tell her all the stories about her Mama, all the crazy and wonderful things she did when she was younger, and how much she wanted a baby.

You asked whether the the quick progression of disease is common. From my own experience, yes. I believe that the disease was silently beginning early in my pregnancy, but its outward manifestation was very fast- less than one week from diagnosis to delivery. A nightmare whirlwind it was. In others though, it can limp along slowly and never become "critical" or "severe".

Thinking of you, your niece, and your brother in law.
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby trish » Wed May 23, 2012 11:54 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately it is still way too common to lose a mama and/or a baby to this awful disease. I just walked here in OKC in the first Promise Walk here & the people who coordinated it lost their daughter and first grandchild this time last year.

I'm sure you will hear from others soon. I hope you can find some support here. (((HUGS)))
Trish: mama to my 3 PE Princesses:
Elizabeth 11/6/03 induced at 37 weeks for PE
Katie 4/13/05 induced at 38 weeks for PE
Allison 12/27/07 induced at 36 weeks for PE then PP PE & BP issues for over a year

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