Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby rosemary » Sat May 26, 2012 05:53 pm


I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. I did send you a PM. If there is anything that I can do for you or your family, please contact me. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Rosemary - 47 - Central, PA
Momma to Kayleigh 8/25/88 - 36 weeks
Elliott 8/29/04 - lost at 20 weeks due to severe PE/HELLP
Proud Grandma to Max Allen 10/19/10.

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby Norinda » Fri May 25, 2012 01:47 pm

Wow. I have barely had time to sit and read this week, but I am so comforted by all the support I've already found here. It makes me feel less bewildered to know that others have gone through this. I wish my mom would come here and read and talk, but she isn't ready, so at least I can bring the info I'm getting here to her as I help her, too. It's tough to know there might not be an answer, and that even if there was, you can't change anything.

My niece is doing great, though! The NICU sent her home yesterday, and while it was really tough to leave the hospital without my sister, it's great not to have to go there any more. I am enjoying the time I can spend with them. I usually live overseas, actually, and so I'm just in town for a couple months tops to help them settle into some kind of routine. It's going to be hard to go home, but I have a house and husband an ocean away and I need to also take care of him and I, too. Right now, I'm just trying to help everyone find a balance between helping my brother in law out and smothering him. And baby books are pretty sexist a lot of the time and act like dad is a footnote, which I don't think gives him the confidence he needs. He can do this, I know it. I just want people to stop acting like he can't.

Anyway, I'll check back as I can, and I will answer my pms when I find the time. I'm kind of everywhere right now and not finding much Internet time. But I'm reading! And I am encouraging my family to join in when they are ready, and relating what I find here when it seems appropriate. Thank you guys so much. You've already helped me a lot. I'm just sorry we met like this. Big hugs.

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby Shannonlynn » Fri May 25, 2012 07:53 am

I am so sorry your family has to go through such sadness. Words really can't describe any of it. And your little niece will grow up without her mommy. I will be thinking of your family. Again, so sorry. Shannon
Shannonlynn-mommy to Frederick Otto "Fritzy"
born May 6, 2011, became an angel one hour later
Severe PE at 24 weeks to the day
Gavin Walden born 8-4-12,lovenox, folgard, lda, prenatals. PE and HELLP free.

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby amanda » Fri May 25, 2012 05:12 am

Norinda -
I wanted to write and let you know I am so sorry to read about your sister! Your post is the one that has me out of hibernation - losing women due to childbirth makes me so mad! And sad. Really really sad.

Words fail me sometimes but I wanted to let you know that I saw this and am thinking of you this morning.

Please, if you want, stay posting. You will get lots of support.
Samantha, Sydney & Anna Grace (33/5 - 2.13 ounces - 23 days in the NICU!
DX: Chronic Kidney Disease, Lupus, Hypertension

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby kathyc » Thu May 24, 2012 10:48 pm

I am so sorry. This disease is terrible. There are just no words for what you and your family have been through.

There are many who will listen to you and grieve with you here. You are not alone.
2001: DD, no HTN or Pre-e (Ignorance was bliss)
2003: DD, pre-e, severe placental abruption at 33 weeks, crash c-section, she and I are lucky to still be here
2007: 2nd trimester loss (13 weeks), likely due to clotting behind placenta seen on ultrasound
2008: DS, pre-e again, 7 weeks bedrest, c-section at 37 weeks.
Now: Chronic HTN, and resigned to the fact that I will never be quite the same. Find my own experience harder to talk about as time passes, but repeatedly ask pregnant friends and coworkers about their blood pressure.

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby aajatwins » Thu May 24, 2012 09:40 pm

I am so sorry for your loss.
Unfortunately, going straight to eclampsia is less common (at least from what I've seen here) and, possibly, more traumatic. I was in the hospital when I seized and I'm sure that's why I survived. It is so overwhelming to be blindsided with something like eclampsia.

What a wonderful aunt you are to help take care of that sweet baby girl and her daddy. I pray you all find clarity and peace and that this forum will help support you through this journey.
Anna (28) - endometriosis
Hubby (27)
Aidan & Jordan - 7.2.09 at 36 weeks. Induction turned emergency c-section due to eclampsia. big healthy toddlers today!
Asa - 10.23.11 at 39 weeks. NO hypertensive issues!! successful VBAC :)

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby jenn » Thu May 24, 2012 03:45 pm

I'm deeply saddened by your loss. Please know my thoughts are with you and your family.
My family has been effected by a sudden loss to preeclampsia as well. My stepsons lost their mother and unborn baby brother unexpectedly about 6 years ago to Preeclampsia.
Please know I understand the pain you're feeling.
I'm here if there is anything I can do to help.

sincerely, Jenn

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby chillman » Thu May 24, 2012 02:40 pm

I am soooo sorry to hear this yet another sad story.. I did private message you and I am here for you any time of the day or night. I will hold your family in my arms and pray for all of you daily as do the other families that have gone through this terrible dreaded disease that should not be taking lives in 2012

Cindi Hillman

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby joker » Thu May 24, 2012 11:56 am

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. There are no simple, easy answers with preeclampsia/HELLP. Unfortunately, it can and does happen fast. I know for myself, I was fine one day and 24hrs later admitted and in organ failure. Please know that you are not alone, all of us on this board have lost someone to this terrible disease. I lost my daughter almost five years ago and I am still traumatized by how everything happened so quickly and went so terribly wrong. Big hugs to you and your brother in law and new neice. Please, come here to ask questions and grieve, we are all here for you.
Jen-type 1 diabetic
Abigail-born still June 29, 2007; PE/HELLP @ 18 weeks
Alison-4/17/2009; PE/HELLP @ 34 weeks

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Re: Lost my sister. Lost without my sister.

Postby blythe » Thu May 24, 2012 11:35 am

Sorry to interject this here, but I want to make sure you can contact each other!

Thanks to everyone who has shared phone numbers and support! Because this forum is publicly searchable we do not post contact info - this protects everyone - but please do share via the forum messaging and email. Click on the username to get to the person's profile, and check the email you used when you registered for the forum for replies. Also check at the top of the page - on my screen it's the third line down in a slightly darker pink - that says "User Control Panel (0 messages) * View your posts". When you have private messages it will say the number of messages you have waiting (1 new messages)(etc), just click on the number and it will take you to the inbox for your forum account. Please feel free to email me if you need help! Heather.Curtis@preeclampsia.org
Heather, mom to
#1 7-18-03 - 5#8oz 37 weeks PE/PIH
#2 8-11-06 - 6#14oz 37 weeks PE/PIH
#3 9-10-09 - 5#10oz 37 weeks PE/PIH

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