Feeling Guilty for Wanting to Try Again

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.
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Re: Feeling Guilty for Wanting to Try Again

Postby ellemoon » Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:05 am

I haven't "been there, done that" but I can say that I know exactly how you feel. I dealt with a lot of PTSD and extreme bitterness that my pregnancy was cut so short. I still go in and check to make sure DD is breathing while she's sleeping. I can't seem to get my mind to turn off the "A's and B's" mode, even though we are way past that. I, too, worry about a subsequent pregnancy and how it will affect DD. I want so badly to be pregnant again and (hopefully) experience a full term pregnancy but at what cost? I don't know my exact odds yet because I haven't seen MFM yet (I will July 26th) but I know they aren't good since I am Chronic Hypertensive and developed pre-e so severely early on. I don't want my DD to have to suffer because I selfishly wanted another baby. So, it's a tough decision. I'm nowhere ready to decide yet- DD is just over a year old but it's always in the back of my mind. Its so unfair that our decisions to have another baby aren't as simple as other people's. It's not just about "can we afford it? are we ready?" It's about risking your life in order to give your child a sibling. It sucks. It's not fair. But I understand exactly what you're going through (as most people here do too). Good luck! :)
Leslie (26) DH (28)
Chronic hypertensive since age 17
DD- born April 24, 2011 due to severe pre-e at 29w1d weighing 2lbs, 11oz
Diagnosed with homozygous MTHFR C677T
Pregnant with #2! Due 9/2/13 but will deliver at 36-37 weeks due to classical csection.
(Labetolol, HCTZ, Aspirin 81mg, Calcium, Mag, Zinc, D, Fish Oil, Fiber gummies, Folic Acid)

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Feeling Guilty for Wanting to Try Again

Postby cfarrell » Fri Jun 08, 2012 09:47 am


I suffered from severe pre-eclampsia on my first birth at only 26 weeks. My son was born just under 2 pounds. I was in the hospital for two weeks with blood pressures up to 225/120 and headaches so severe morphine injected into my picc line didn't touch them. My son miraculously lived with no long term health complications. He is now two and a half years old and as perfect as can be. You'd never expect he was born early.
Those few months have been the hardest trial of my life, and I have been seeing a counselor to deal with post tramautic stress and anxiety I have in parenting my son. It's taken a long time (and is still a work in progress) to convince my mind that my son's life is not still at stake.
As my son is getting older, I feel it is time to expand our family and give him a sibling. However I'm terrifed at the possibility it could happen again. MFM has said since my probability is around 44% that it will reoccur early on again, due to how early and severe it struck last time. 22% of that accounts for delivery before 28 weeks, and 22% is for delivery between 28-36 weeks. There is another 22% that is will occur after 36 weeks, but that's not a big deal so I'm not as worried about that.
My biggest concern at this point is my health since I am a mother to such a sweet. miraculous little boy who I love more than life. After receiving such tremendous blessings with him, I feel guilty at the thought of putting my health at risk again for the sake of having another one. I'm worried about my physical health first and foremost, but also my emotional. I barely hung on by a thread last time, and I don't know that I could endure it again. I am also nervous about being in the hospital long term and being away from my first son, or even placed on bedrest.
I don't know what type of response I'm looking for, I guess just people that have been through this situation before and can offer words of encouragement (or warning!). Any advice would be highly appreciated! :D

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