I am so sorry you had to experience the loss of your babies. There are no words to describe the pain that comes with it, the pain that fills your days longer after your loss, the pain of losing yourself and your world you thought you knew. It takes much time and effort to get back to a sense of self and re-build your life anew. It will get easier with time, but even after a long time, the pain can come back very unexpectedly. Shortly, after I lost Henry I started seeing a baby-loss counselor, which helped me very much, but everybody grieves differently and has different needs.
Take the time to heal and be gentle with yourself. Please feel free to post here, we are here and understand.
Thinking of your little ones, Kerry and Ricky.
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011Henry
(1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeksMatilda
(Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE
Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/