Kathryn and bsherrica, I'm very sorry for your recent losses. I lost my little boy at 34/35 weeks back in March. I'm not sure that I was too stressed per say, but life is always a juggling act, especially for women. Just getting to work every day involved a bus and a train and a 3/4 mile walk (each way), and you would be surprised at how few people in New York offer pregnant women seats on the train and bus. My experience with my pregnancy has led me to think about what I want in the future, and I think I may stop working around viability if I am fortunate enough to get pregnant again. I think it will be very hard financially speaking, but the stress of frequent doctors appointments and getting back to work, and taking the time to make sure I'm resting and eating well, I think it may be worth it for me.
bsherrica ,I can relate to your birth experience to some degree. My doctor was on vacation when I went into crisis. I had a very normal pregnancy with a few oddities, like I had the shortness of breath from about 12 weeks on, but weight was normal, no swelling, no proteins, good BP. 7 days after my last dr appointment I got a lot of swelling, fatigue, and cramps in my calf muscles. I called my dr on Thursday and Friday and he recommended physical therapy, which I scheduled for the next Tuesday (I wish he would have had me come in for a BP check). Thursday night I used my home doppler to listen to my little boy's heart beat, which was loud and steady. Friday and Saturday were whirlwind days, putting together baby furniture, attending my last Lamaze class, and Sunday we had my baby shower. By that point I was really swollen, but I had spoken to my dr 2 days ago, listened to my babies heartbeat, and everything was fine, and isn't the home stretch of pregnancy the hardest and most uncomfortable? Monday I was back at work and a friend who came to the shower called me and said I should check my BP because I looked puffy. I stopped at a drug store on my way home from work and got a reading of 155/120 (or something like that). Went home call my dr, while I was waiting for a call back my husband came home with a BP cuff and got similar readings. DR confirmed we should come in just to get checked out.... and after waiting in L&D for over an hour, the nurse couldn’t find my son's heartbeat. From Monday to Wednesday I saw a new doctor (from my dr’s practice) everyday, and was delivered by the hospital’s midwife, because the dr from my practice was off somewhere else when I went into transition. I did have drugs and a nurse, and the midwife turned out to be great, but she wasn't there until the very end, and it was really scary until she came, and I didn't even know her name until after I delivered. I can’t imagine if I had been alone; you are amazing. I would like to say I don’t know how you did it; but unfortunately I do know how you did it, you did it because you had no choice.
I had a very good relationship with my dr before this happened, and it has been hard for me to deal with the fact that he didn’t call me in to the office that Friday, or that he wasn’t there for me to deliver my son. It’s almost like a betrayal because previously he was such a good dr, and was very compassionate when I had a pervious miscarriage and he performed my DNC (which was a really hard thing for me to agree to).
Anyway, my pe-e went away about a week after my delivery. The hypertension specialist I have been following up with says there is no way to know if my high blood pressure was caused by my baby going into crisis, or if I developed high BP which caused my baby to go into crisis.
Kathryn, regarding time off from work, a year is amazing. I had two weeks off (including the time I was in the hospital). It was really hard to think about going back to work, but after a few weeks it becomes normal. It’s good for me to get out of the house and have a way to be productive, but it does take a toll in that after a while it seems like you and everyone else you interact with daily are pretending the whole thing never happened. But I’m not sure that negative outweighs the positives of going back to work. Before I went back I sat home all day and cried, so I’m kind of glad to not be doing that anymore.
Mommy to Ricky
Stillborn 3.13.12 @ 34+4 wks due to Severe Pre-E. 5 lb & 1 oz. Always loved and missed.
MC at 9 weeks May 2011