I'm so sorry for your loss.
I was overweight by BMI standards for both my previous pregnancies, but I actually weighed about 15-20 lbs more my 2nd pregnancy that was pre-e and hellp free. (I also have pcos.) I'm not a big believer that weight makes much of a difference either way, nor did my doctors have any concerns about it. So I personally didn't stress over dieting or losing weight in between my pregnancies (obviously!) I did manage to lose a significant amount of weight after my second pregnancy, mainly thanks to breastfeeding for over a year-not because I worried much about dieting, and while my doctors were happy I started this pregnancy lighter than my first two, they weren't convinced it had any effect on my odds of getting pre-e again.
I was on bcp for 5 years before ttc, it did absolutely nothing to regulate my cycles. My ob specifically said she would not put me on hormonal bcp after severe early onset pre-e and hellp because of the chance I may have had a blood clotting disorder as a possible underlying condition. So I'm surprised your OB recommended it unless they've already tested you for underlying conditions. I ended up getting pregnant with DD as a huge coincidence on day 100+ of a never-ending cycle which is normal for me. With DS, after losing DD, we jumped into fertility treatments for my irregular cycles fairly quickly, used femara to help me ovulate and conceive (and had a healthy DS), this time I managed to get and stay pregnant taking soy isoflavones for 5 days early in my cycle (works like clomid). TTC with PCOS can be difficult if you don't ovulate regularly (metformin has never helped me or made any difference in my cycles, but I do not have insulin-resistant pcos, I think it helps IR PCOS'ers more since it is a diabetes drug.) I think recognizing my OB's limits (she mainly deals with pregnancies and delivering babies, not fertility stuff), and seeking a fertility specialist (RE) early on to conceive DS helped us conceive fairly quickly.
I highly recommend consulting an MFM/perinatalogist before ttc. And going to an RE sooner than later for help with fertility stuff, once you've been okay'd to try again.
Me (29) DH (30)
#1-Olivia Caetlyn-9-28-09-9-28-09, 23+2 wks, emergency classic c-section, class I HELLP, IUGR
#2- Lucas Oliver (rainbow baby)- April 2011, 36+2 wks, HELLP and pre-e free! (lovenox and LDA pregnancy)
#3-Matthew, late October 2012...mostly normal, 37 wks, (lovenox and LDA again)
My blog: http://www.butterflies-and-rainbows.blogspot.com/