Just need some support

[Bmoremama]

(short version of my story: delivered my first at 33 weeks with pre-e. Now he is a busy 2.5 year old toddler and finally made it onto the growth chart at his doctor's appt today.) Im 28 weeks pregnant with #2. I haven't posted on here yet because I have just been too nervous. Trying to pretend like everything will be fine if I just don't think about it too hard. Every test and visit to the dr is like a gauntlet. Latest thing was the GTT which I was convinced I was going to fail. They just called today and said my glucose levels were fine, but I have low platelets and asked if I had that before. I did have slightly low platelets with the last one. Now I feel like this is the first chink in my armor and it's all going to come crashing down. How can I go on bed rest, have another c-section, spend all day at the nicu with a preemie when I have a toddler about to start preschool? I know is could be nothing, but I know you ladies understand that it's probably not nothing and how hard it is to get news like this. I just don't know what to do. I mean, what can I do but sit and wait. This is so unfair. I just feel like my body is failing me and there's nothing I can do about it. I was just sorting baby clothes and letting myself get a little bit excited and now I get this phone call. I'm just really sad and scared.

[mychaelelaine]

I totally feel where you're coming from. I lost my daughter at 23 weeks so this entire pregnancy has involved me holding my breath. Freaking out won't help though, in fact it could hurt. Try not to worry about something you can't control as well as something that may not happen...problems. Trust me, I'm taking my own advice. Lol. Good luck!!

[angieb]

Ditto what mychealelaine said.

Do you know if they've tested your platelets at all earlier this pregnancy? There are conditions that can give you lower platelets that have nothing to do with pre-e or HELLP, so unless you are having other symptoms, it wouldn't worry me too much. Did they tell you how low they were?

[Bmoremama]

Thank you for your encouragement. My bp was 116/66 today so that was reassuring, and venting here and crying on my husband's shoulder also helped. I didn't have the presence of mind to ask any questions on the phone. I will ask about previous results. I had blood drawn at the beginning, around 12 weeks or so, but I don't know if they did platelets. Is that part of CBC? My level this time was 112. My last pregnancy, it was 135 at the beginning, then I think it went up and then toward the end, it was slightly low again. I am trying to just take it one day at a time and not interpret every twinge as the end of the world.

[Raposa]

It doesn't take much to make us feel shattered, does it? It's like there's a worry monster in the back of your head, and you can keep him out until there's a tiiiny crack, and then he slips through and rampages around.