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My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.

My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Postby olivejuice0806 » Wed Sep 05, 2012 07:12 pm

by olivejuice0806 (64 Posts), Wed Sep 05, 2012 07:12 pm

I had a pregnancy in 1999 that ended in an emergency c-section due to HELLP. I have since divorced and remarried, and my current husband and I had a beautiful little girl in 2007 with very mild pre-e symptoms that didn't even start until 39 weeks, and my doctor decided to deliver immediately. I am currently 29 weeks pregnant, and have had bp issues off and on since 14 weeks. I am being followed by my ob and an mfm. I also take my bp 3 times a day at home. The last few days, my bp has started to rise, and my highest reading was last night at 136/96. Of course, I am SCARED TO DEATH. My husband's response is to tell me it's all in my head, and that I shouldn't let the doctor convince me that I need to be on bed rest because we can't afford for me to not work. Now don't get me wrong, my husband is normally a sweet and wonderful man. Heck, I dropped a perfectly good smart phone in a cup of coffee last week and he surprised me with an iphone to replace it. I just don't know how to get it into his head that I need his support right now. I told him at 14 weeks that the high bp's scared me. I know my hormones are out of control right now, but now on top of all the other things that scared me about bed rest, pre-e, HELLP, having a preemie, I am scared that he is going to blame me for anything bad that happens to our baby because "it's all in my head". Any advice on how to talk to a man who thinks my fears are hypo-chondria?
Shanda (38)
Baby #1 PE 11/3/1993 39 weeks 7lbs. 4oz.
Baby #2 Severe PE/HELLP 9/21/1999 31 weeks 4lbs. 2oz
Baby #3 Mild PE 6/1/2007 39 weeks 7lbs. 1oz.
Baby #4 PE 10/31/2012 37 weeks 6lbs. 11 oz.
Miscarriage 5/2010
Miscarriage 10/2011
olivejuice0806
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Re: My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Postby mychaelelaine » Wed Sep 05, 2012 08:06 pm

by mychaelelaine (195 Posts), Wed Sep 05, 2012 08:06 pm

I wish had advice! Sorry. My situation is the reverse. I actually want my husband to get off my back. From what I've read, bed rest isn't effective. My husband is listening to old school people who don't have facts. He just finished lecturing me about coming straight home from work. We should switch! Lol.
10/17/2011 ~ Mychael Elaine was born sleeping. We miss and will always love you!
9/16/2012 ~ Michael Leon was born, God is so good! Severe pre-e again, induced at 34 weeks, c-section due to baby's heart decelerating with each contraction. 1 week in NICU. I'm done! :)
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Re: My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Postby sam10 » Wed Sep 05, 2012 08:07 pm

by sam10 (1436 Posts), Wed Sep 05, 2012 08:07 pm

First of all, congratulations on your current pregnancy:-)
Being scared in a subsequent pregnancy after having experienced PE /HELLP is normal, especially if you have elevated pressures. Have you informed your doctor of your rise in BP readings? If you haven't, I'd do that and then follow their advice. Perhaps it would be helpful for your husband to come along and hear it from your doctor himself what the risks are and what your care would look like if you were diagnosed with PE or HELLP. You can also invite him to read all the info on our website. Last, but not least tell him that you need his support.
I guess people deal with scary situations differently, and your husband would like everything just to be fine (aka 'just in your head').
Sending you hugs
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
sam10
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Re: My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Postby olivejuice0806 » Wed Sep 05, 2012 08:44 pm

by olivejuice0806 (64 Posts), Wed Sep 05, 2012 08:44 pm

He has been with me to the MFM once, and at that point I think the MFM was trying to help me be less scared, so he said "Oh, we will just give you a little medicine and you will be fine" So that is what my husband has heard and I think he is clinging to it. I have appointments with my OB and my MFM tomorrow. Thank you so much for the info on bed rest. I had wondered why neither my OB or my MFM had mentioned it. I figured they just didn't want to freak me out! That makes me feel much better. Now I just have to manage to not land myself in the hospital!
Shanda (38)
Baby #1 PE 11/3/1993 39 weeks 7lbs. 4oz.
Baby #2 Severe PE/HELLP 9/21/1999 31 weeks 4lbs. 2oz
Baby #3 Mild PE 6/1/2007 39 weeks 7lbs. 1oz.
Baby #4 PE 10/31/2012 37 weeks 6lbs. 11 oz.
Miscarriage 5/2010
Miscarriage 10/2011
olivejuice0806
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Posts: 64
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:58 pm

Re: My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Postby sam10 » Wed Sep 05, 2012 09:11 pm

by sam10 (1436 Posts), Wed Sep 05, 2012 09:11 pm

Bedrest seems to help some, but it has not proven to be necessarily preventing or slowing down PE for all who have developed PE.
Perhaps your husband can come along tomorrow, to hear from your doc that BP at a certain limit is not to be taken lightly.
Good luck tomorrow and let us know how it goes.
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
sam10
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 1436
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:04 am
Location: Boston, MA

Re: My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Postby mychaelelaine » Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:23 pm

by mychaelelaine (195 Posts), Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:23 pm

I agree with Sam. I don't want your husband to be scared like mine cuz then he might get on your nerves trying to prevent you from doing anything! Lol. But he does need to know the facts and why you have reason to be fearful.
10/17/2011 ~ Mychael Elaine was born sleeping. We miss and will always love you!
9/16/2012 ~ Michael Leon was born, God is so good! Severe pre-e again, induced at 34 weeks, c-section due to baby's heart decelerating with each contraction. 1 week in NICU. I'm done! :)
mychaelelaine
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Posts: 195
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2012 10:50 am

Re: My husband is driving me crazy!!!

Postby olivejuice0806 » Thu Sep 06, 2012 08:33 pm

by olivejuice0806 (64 Posts), Thu Sep 06, 2012 08:33 pm

UPDATE- Last night, my husband came home from work and asked how my evening blood pressure reading was. I told him about the same, and he said the magic words: "But you are still scared, aren't you?" We talked for an hour or so, and I felt MUCH better. Today, I went to the MFM to check baby's measurements. My BP was 140/82, no protein in my urine, and baby measured great. I am 29 weeks 1 day, baby is measuring an awesome 31 weeks 5 days. And then the MFM said, I want to see you back in 4 weeks. If everything looks as good as it does today, I don't need to see you again. Yippee!!! Now we just need to make it 4 more weeks! Appt with my regular OB tomorrow (had to reschedule because I sat in the MFM's office for 2 hours), and GTT on Saturday morning.
Shanda (38)
Baby #1 PE 11/3/1993 39 weeks 7lbs. 4oz.
Baby #2 Severe PE/HELLP 9/21/1999 31 weeks 4lbs. 2oz
Baby #3 Mild PE 6/1/2007 39 weeks 7lbs. 1oz.
Baby #4 PE 10/31/2012 37 weeks 6lbs. 11 oz.
Miscarriage 5/2010
Miscarriage 10/2011
olivejuice0806
Registered User
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:58 pm


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