41 year old TTC again after losing IVF baby to severe PE

[babyjames]

Hi all

I am new to this site and a few weeks ago I lost my first baby (IVF) to severe PE who also had IUGR. I am 41 and has a history of endometriosis as well.

I am still hurting from my loss and would like to connect to others out there who have the same experience as me and is also TTC after a heartbreaking loss.

Due to my endometriosis and the fact that I am getting older I decided to seek help with IVF and to my absolute delight achieved a pregnancy during the very first round of IVF early this year. My pregnancy was going very well it seemed until my 20th week when the scan revealed that my baby was measuring small for dates. I was sent to hosp the following week for further checks and that's when they realised that my BP was already sky high. Soon after that I was admitted to hosp diagnosed with severe PE and was advised to terminate which I was absolutely against and very hopeful that my baby will somehow survive. I was then transferred to the MFM section of another hosp where I was closely monitored. During my stay in that hosp I try to remain as calm and as positive as possible, hoping that if I control my anxiety levels it may help reduce my BP. I also kept praying and read inspiring stories of survival for comfort and increased my calcium/protein intake which I heard, from previous patients, may help with PE. But despite all that eventually my baby passed away in utero, he only managed to grow a small amount and they found a reversal in blood flow. Losing a baby in this manner was very hard for me. I cannot help but think that if only I knew, or my docs knew, that I was going to develop severe PE that we could've done something much earlier on to prevent it or even minimise its effect. So instead of looking forward to a baby shower I had to endure giving birth to a dead baby and then organising his funeral afterwards.

Words could not describe the hurt that I am still feeling and it's true that some days its feels like that I am the only one in this world who is suffering from this. But i know that there are countless of women out there who have been affected and so here I am needing to connect to those women and hopefully share positive and encouraging stories of TTC and hopefully achieve a beautiful baby in the near future xxx

[sam10]

I am so very sorry you lost your precious baby to PE. It is heartbreaking and burrying your own child is one of the hardest things. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to heal in your way. It is a long and hard road, but it gets easier over time.
Please know that there is nothing that could have been done to prevent PE, no diet has proven to help prevent or slow down the process. There is lots of information on this site and forums. So please feel free to post any questions and we are here to help answer as much as we can.
I myself belong to the senior group and have turned to assisted methods due to my age and unexplained infertility. In the end it happened all on its own. I am currently expecting, 22 weeks along.

What have your doctors told you how long to wait to TTC? Also, have you connected with a MFM to discuss your case of PE and test you for potential underlying disorders? Before TTC, it is recommended to have a consult with your MFM. If you'll go the route of IVF, the MFM will probably only agree to a single embryo transfer, as multiples raise the risk of PE, more placenta means a higher risk.

I am thinking of you and your precious baby. Sending you hugs.

[babyjames]

Thanks for your reply Sam.

My MFM specialist has told me that I can try again as soon as my periods come back or I can give myself 3 months to start trying again. Whilst in hosp I was tested for many things and all came back negative and before I left the hosp the specialist had discussed a few things with me regarding my condition, meds and what happens next. I am due to see him again very soon and we will be discussing those topics again esp the next pregnancy. After my ordeal with PE right now I don't feel scared of it, what worries me the most is not being able to conceive naturally or if any of my frozen embryos don't take on. As I am getting older I feel that I am running out of time.

all the very best with your pregnancy i hope that soon i will achieve another pregnancy too

[jules2]

I am so sorry to hear about your little boy.

I lost my first baby 3 days before my 38th birthday due to very sudden onset severe PE at 26 weeks. I recognise all the emotions you are going through. I hate to think of someone else having to experience all this. It is just dreadful and I completely understand how the age factor can impact on this too. I had two MCs after losing my first daughter and was pretty certain I would never have a living baby after 3 losses in a row and at almost 39 by then.

My next pregnancy though was totally normal and I had a healthy baby girl 18 months later. I still think about the first daughter I lost over 3 years ago but I can accept what happened to me and her now.

I am now (rather unexpectedly) pregnant again at 41, 26 weeks and all ok so far ....

I did take low dose aspirn and calcium in my subsequent pregnances and my docs believe that both of these are very effective for women with early and severe PE (even though many studies have not shown any benefits).

I hope this helps a little, thinking of you x

[mom41]

Hi,
I do not come here often any more .. but I also lost pregnancy after IVF - twin girls- after being diagnosed with IUGR/preeclampsia around 20 weeks..
Six months later, still grieving and on BP pills , i was shocked to learn i was pregnant again. I was on Lovenox and ASA in addition to labetalol up to 1600 mg a day at the end of pregnancy. I took time off from work (FMLA) and stayed home mainly on my left side from 15 weeks till the end .. My son was born early due to IUGR/oligo but is absolutely beautiful ! I was over 41 years old.
Hope this help a little. Lots of hugs

[babyjames]

Hi mom41,

Thanks for your story. It gives me hope again when I read positive stories but at the same time i am still scared - scared mainly about not being able to conceive a baby at my age. one question - did you conveive your 2nd child naturally or via IVF? My husband and I are trying again this time naturally but we have decided if after 3-4 months no success we will go back and try with our forzen embryos. Although I hear many success stories of women conceiving after 42 I still worry about my own fertility and keep thinking that I may have left it too late now and that my only chance was Baby James. Also I am finding it very hard to deal with some friends who are any moment now will give birth and some who are also due around the same time as Baby James would've been born (in Oct). I always thought that I would be strong enough to handle it but reality is it hurts me so much. It's hard to be happy for them.

Despite that there is the fighter in me that keeps positive at most times. And I am hoping so much to have a baby very soon. I enjoyed my pregnancy, so much so that it actually improved the condition of my skin (I have eczema) and the nausea was very little. I am looking forward to feeling another human being growing inside me and seeing my tummy grow

[mychaelelaine]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't tell you how comforting it was for me to stumble upon this site and read stories so similar to my own. I truly hope coming here helps, even just a bit. I lost my baby almost a year ago and I'm still grieving, and I'm 33 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. I think I'll always feel for my baby just as you may but I pray that pain lessens as each day passes.

[bsherricca]

I have another month to go before TTC but wanted to say I know how you feel ...... im so sorry for your loss. i wish no woman wld go through what so many of us on this board have experienced...

[whereowhere]

Ohhh, I am so with you. You are not alone. We used IVF, were pregnant our first try and in April I delivered and lost my boy and girl twins due to severe preeclampsia at 21 weeks. It was so devastating. I had an ectopic pregnancy, a miscarriage, and then this most heartbreaking loss. I will be 40 in November. We plan to try again with one of our frozen embryos in October, only six months from when we lost our sweethearts. We need to go forward because of my age. The loss is great. I just want you to know I feel your pain. All I can have is knowing that someday I will see my loves in heaven,and strive to bear a child/children to hold here on earth.