Dealing with ignorance

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.
olivejuice0806
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Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 6:58 pm

Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby olivejuice0806 » Mon Sep 24, 2012 09:09 pm

My problem is that they think you are over-exaggerating no matter what you say. I don't have the same friends, or even the same husband as I did 13 years ago when I actually almost died to have a baby. So, when I say that, they look at me like "oh yeah, ok." I want to say "Oh yeah, because high risk OB's have all this extra time on their hands, so they have started treating women who don't really need it!"
Shanda (38)
Baby #1 PE 11/3/1993 39 weeks 7lbs. 4oz.
Baby #2 Severe PE/HELLP 9/21/1999 31 weeks 4lbs. 2oz
Baby #3 Mild PE 6/1/2007 39 weeks 7lbs. 1oz.
Baby #4 PE 10/31/2012 37 weeks 6lbs. 11 oz.
Miscarriage 5/2010
Miscarriage 10/2011

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princess purr
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Joined: Sun Dec 19, 2004 11:50 pm

Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby princess purr » Mon Sep 24, 2012 09:09 pm

I would be blunt, over the years I have kind of lost tolerance to ignorant people LOL Like when people ask me why my husband and I aren't trying to start a family, I say something along the lines of... it's really a private decision but if you must know getting pregnant could kill me and I don't want to loss another child.. so it is not a choice that we have the luxury of taking lightly unlike most people. That normally shuts them up LOL Mean, but I just am tired of getting the same questions from the same people.
Val (34) & Carlos (32)
Married: April 29th 2011
Veronica Rosina, 11/25/2004-11/27/2004
Born at 26.5 weeks (1 lb 4oz, 14 inches) because of severe preeclampsia (doc says I was on my way to HELLP but not there yet)
Nicholas Robert, 11/22/2013 7 lb 7oz 19.5 inches, born at 36 weeks (due to previous classical c-section) PE FREE!!!!!!

holly3372@msn.com
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Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2010 02:03 am

Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Mon Sep 24, 2012 06:46 pm

Ugh!!! Yeah I hear you ! I have become so blunt I just cannot help myself lol I just come right out and say, "It's not too early for someone like me with my history I have to be watched very careful." or my "Pregnancy is very different then yours,remember??" I have even come right out and said " Well being that many women suffer a loss due to pre-e including their own lives,I am not taking any chances nor are my "high risk" docs!" I never have to get rude, I just stop them dead in their tracks as soon as the bull**** starts coming lol 8-)
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013

olivejuice0806
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Posts: 64
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 6:58 pm

Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby olivejuice0806 » Mon Sep 24, 2012 03:46 pm

something very similar. But she continues to say things like "Wow! that's way early!" When I say something about my doctor doing a c-section at 37 weeks. I know it shouldn't bother me, but I think so many people just take it for granted that they will have 40+ week, normal pregnancies with beautiful, normal deliveries. They forget that there are so many that aren't that fortunate.
Shanda (38)
Baby #1 PE 11/3/1993 39 weeks 7lbs. 4oz.
Baby #2 Severe PE/HELLP 9/21/1999 31 weeks 4lbs. 2oz
Baby #3 Mild PE 6/1/2007 39 weeks 7lbs. 1oz.
Baby #4 PE 10/31/2012 37 weeks 6lbs. 11 oz.
Miscarriage 5/2010
Miscarriage 10/2011

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caryn
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Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby caryn » Mon Sep 24, 2012 01:25 pm

I think I'd say something like, "If I weren't known to be so high-risk for complications, I'm sure my doctors would be managing me differently. But given my history and some of those worrisome readings we've gotten recently" (if this is true!) "I don't get to be normal. And that's okay, especially if I get to take home a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy."

What have you said?
Science! The articles you don't want to miss:
The Preeclampsia Puzzle (New Yorker) and Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy (New York Times)
Looking for recent articles and studies?
A chance to participate in research? For us on Facebook or Twitter?

Caryn, @carynjrogers, who is not a doctor and who talks about science stuff *way* too much
DS Oscar born by emergent C-section at 34 weeks for fetal indicators, due to severe PE
DD Bridget born by C-section after water broke at 39 weeks after a healthy pregnancy

olivejuice0806
Registered User
Posts: 64
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 6:58 pm

Dealing with ignorance

Postby olivejuice0806 » Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:25 am

Just wondering how you all deal with friends and family who act like you are out of your mind. I have a friend on facebook who is "due" a couple of weeks before I am. Anytime I post anything about the baby or pregnancy, she wants to compare my post to her "normal" pregnancy, and make it seem like my doctor is mis-managing me. How do you put these people in their place without being rude?
Shanda (38)
Baby #1 PE 11/3/1993 39 weeks 7lbs. 4oz.
Baby #2 Severe PE/HELLP 9/21/1999 31 weeks 4lbs. 2oz
Baby #3 Mild PE 6/1/2007 39 weeks 7lbs. 1oz.
Baby #4 PE 10/31/2012 37 weeks 6lbs. 11 oz.
Miscarriage 5/2010
Miscarriage 10/2011


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