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Dealing with ignorance

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.

Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby tree » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:54 am

by tree (819 Posts), Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:54 am

I am re-reading my post from last night and realizing just how different this situation is when you have actually experienced a loss. Some of my friends really cannot understand why I think we got lucky and had a good outcome. The reality of how many women have lost babies to this horrible disease provides a very stark contrast to eventually going home with a healthy kid and slowly recovering.
One calm approach is to say that the most recent studies have shown much better outcomes for mothers and babies with any signs of PE if delivery occurs at 37 weeks. You and your doctor have agreed to follow this guidance to give your family the best chance at a healthy mom and baby. For many of us, waiting until 39-40 weeks can lead to a worse outcome, and you want to do what is best for your baby.
In the past, I have said nasty things about not having the luxury to plan my home birth with naked hippies walking around the birthing tub serving trays of granola and fighting off evil IV wielding doctors (I am a dirty hippie in real life), but that is some what less productive.
Daughter born April 2009 at 35 weeks due to Class 1 HELLP
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Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Tue Sep 25, 2012 04:36 pm

by holly3372@msn.com (478 Posts), Tue Sep 25, 2012 04:36 pm

lol well said! I have said things like that too, we were planning on having an at home water birth yikes ,seems like another lifetime ago and some other woman planning it other then the person I have become today after losing Ben . Well, here's to dealing best we can with ignorance and to us hippies ha ha!!
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby princess purr » Tue Sep 25, 2012 04:45 pm

by princess purr (1092 Posts), Tue Sep 25, 2012 04:45 pm

I post all over facebook about losing my daughter, and when/if I get pregnant I think I plan to be very public about it because these kind of things are always something that "happens to someone else." They aren't "real". It is scary, and I refuse to go it alone, if people are ignorant, I'm going to educate them real fast. Who knows, maybe it will save someone's life. I would love to be in the prefect everything is going to go great, start buying baby stuff at 12 week bubble, but I'm not, but it doesn't mean I should have to hide my joy/sorrow/fears from everyone next time around.
Val (34) & Carlos (32)
Married: April 29th 2011
Veronica Rosina, 11/25/2004-11/27/2004
Born at 26.5 weeks (1 lb 4oz, 14 inches) because of severe preeclampsia (doc says I was on my way to HELLP but not there yet)
Nicholas Robert, 11/22/2013 7 lb 7oz 19.5 inches, born at 36 weeks (due to previous classical c-section) PE FREE!!!!!!
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Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Tue Sep 25, 2012 04:56 pm

by holly3372@msn.com (478 Posts), Tue Sep 25, 2012 04:56 pm

You are right,I agree you should do what feels right for you. I am honestly not a facebook person in general ( I know weird lol) so I kept my stuff off that particular site. I didn't mean to bash facebook personally. I do however open my mouth every chance I can , voulnteer at many functions with preeclampsia brochures in hand!
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby olivejuice0806 » Tue Sep 25, 2012 06:49 pm

by olivejuice0806 (64 Posts), Tue Sep 25, 2012 06:49 pm

I do put things on Facebook because our friends and family are very spread out and it is a lot easier to put something on Facebook once than text or call 50 people and tell it 50 times. The downside to that convenience is that you get some unsolicited opinions. But I agree that if there is one woman who gains awareness about PE/HELLP because I was willing to deal with some ignorance, then it is well worth it.
Shanda (38)
Baby #1 PE 11/3/1993 39 weeks 7lbs. 4oz.
Baby #2 Severe PE/HELLP 9/21/1999 31 weeks 4lbs. 2oz
Baby #3 Mild PE 6/1/2007 39 weeks 7lbs. 1oz.
Baby #4 PE 10/31/2012 37 weeks 6lbs. 11 oz.
Miscarriage 5/2010
Miscarriage 10/2011
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Re: Dealing with ignorance

Postby sam10 » Tue Sep 25, 2012 07:14 pm

by sam10 (1437 Posts), Tue Sep 25, 2012 07:14 pm

I like the naked dance around the tub too, but not for the birth of this baby:-) maybe in my next life ;)

As for FB you can restrict (you probably know) who gets to see a post or not. Perhaps this can help to keep some unsolicited advice at bay.

My family and friends are far (many of them in Europe), so I do send status updates via email; and I use skype a lot, which is great, as I can show my belly live.
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
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