It's been two years for me, but like you I think of my baby every day and I don't think that will change- 2 yrs., 9 yrs., 20 yrs.... same as every parent who was lucky enough to keep their child earth side and in their lives; they think of their children daily, why shouldn't we?
Like you, I want to talk about my daughter and the experience. Even though their lives were very, very short they had made a major impact. I wish you were able to get the support you need from your hubby around this, but different people handle the grief in different ways I guess. You always have us.
I light candles for prevention and/or a cure to preeclampsia all the time. It's taken so many precious babies. My ONLY baby as it turned out. So many mamas too. Like you I would have gladly traded places with Millie. In fact I remember begging the docs to let me go and save her. They forced me to deliver when I did not want to (I realize now that we both would have died had they not forced me). Was it the opposite for you? They didn't want you to deliver?
I haven't seen any other kiddos with Millie's name, but I do see plenty of other 2 year olds and not all of them getting tender loving care. It is difficult, I agree.
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed