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9 years and seems like yesterday

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9 years and seems like yesterday

Postby calliesmom » Mon Nov 05, 2012 05:18 pm

by calliesmom (22 Posts), Mon Nov 05, 2012 05:18 pm

Yesterday was 9 years since I lost my little Callie Anne. She was delivered at 24 weeks because I was dying from HELLP and preeclampsia. I was left alone to deliver her because the hospital did not agree with the delivery (Catholic hospital). I got to hold my precious baby a few moments after they took her.

As I went into the grocery store yesterday, I heard a mom call out to her daughter (about 9 years old) and say, "Callie, get back here!" A horrible coincidence that broke my heart even more. Worst part is that no one will talk about it, including my husband, as if NOT talking about it makes it any easier. I think of her every single day. There is no "moving on" from this pain.

Many days I wish I had taken her place. Preeclampsia is a horrible disease. We can only pray they find a cure.
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Re: 9 years and seems like yesterday

Postby kerisue » Mon Nov 05, 2012 06:42 pm

by kerisue (623 Posts), Mon Nov 05, 2012 06:42 pm

It's been two years for me, but like you I think of my baby every day and I don't think that will change- 2 yrs., 9 yrs., 20 yrs.... same as every parent who was lucky enough to keep their child earth side and in their lives; they think of their children daily, why shouldn't we?

Like you, I want to talk about my daughter and the experience. Even though their lives were very, very short they had made a major impact. I wish you were able to get the support you need from your hubby around this, but different people handle the grief in different ways I guess. You always have us.

I light candles for prevention and/or a cure to preeclampsia all the time. It's taken so many precious babies. My ONLY baby as it turned out. So many mamas too. Like you I would have gladly traded places with Millie. In fact I remember begging the docs to let me go and save her. They forced me to deliver when I did not want to (I realize now that we both would have died had they not forced me). Was it the opposite for you? They didn't want you to deliver?

I haven't seen any other kiddos with Millie's name, but I do see plenty of other 2 year olds and not all of them getting tender loving care. It is difficult, I agree.
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed
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Re: 9 years and seems like yesterday

Postby kerisue » Mon Nov 05, 2012 06:45 pm

by kerisue (623 Posts), Mon Nov 05, 2012 06:45 pm

I lit a virtual candle for Callie. It will be "lit" for 48 hrs. from now.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/mes ... d=17215360
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed
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Re: 9 years and seems like yesterday

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Tue Nov 06, 2012 07:03 am

by holly3372@msn.com (478 Posts), Tue Nov 06, 2012 07:03 am

It has been 2 years for us as well. I agree that it never goes away, you just learn to live with it. I am also sorry you cannot talk to your husband about it, that must be very hard. Like kerisue said everyone handle grief so different.

I think of Benjamin everyday and have heard other perents call out his name too, this takes my breath away. I will be thinking of you and Callie and I always think of Millie. They will always be loved and never forgotten. xo
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: 9 years and seems like yesterday

Postby bsherricca » Wed Nov 07, 2012 01:10 pm

by bsherricca (44 Posts), Wed Nov 07, 2012 01:10 pm

its only been a few months for me but i know your pain as i was also left alone to deliver my sleeping baby ...its not easy to go through it seems quite unreal and compounds an already painful situation .... i know from experience that some days are better than others and i hope u have all the support you need to get you through the rough ones ...sending virtual hugs and a prayer that you have comfort ....
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Re: 9 years and seems like yesterday

Postby rosemary » Wed Nov 07, 2012 09:50 pm

by rosemary (2360 Posts), Wed Nov 07, 2012 09:50 pm

Thinking of you and your precious daughter. Wishing you peace and healing.
Rosemary - 47 - Central, PA
Momma to Kayleigh 8/25/88 - 36 weeks
Elliott 8/29/04 - lost at 20 weeks due to severe PE/HELLP
Proud Grandma to Max Allen 10/19/10.
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Re: 9 years and seems like yesterday

Postby princess purr » Sat Nov 10, 2012 08:35 am

by princess purr (1092 Posts), Sat Nov 10, 2012 08:35 am

It will be 8 years for me in a few weeks, and every year it seems like something happens to just twist the knife in my heart on that day. Our little angles are always watching over us though :-)
Val (34) & Carlos (32)
Married: April 29th 2011
Veronica Rosina, 11/25/2004-11/27/2004
Born at 26.5 weeks (1 lb 4oz, 14 inches) because of severe preeclampsia (doc says I was on my way to HELLP but not there yet)
Nicholas Robert, 11/22/2013 7 lb 7oz 19.5 inches, born at 36 weeks (due to previous classical c-section) PE FREE!!!!!!
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