by email@example.com (478 Posts), Wed Nov 21, 2012 10:16 am
Hi . First I am so sorry for the terrible loss of your baby girl. Losing your baby is by far the worst thing that could happen . We lost our only baby 2 years ago now. Sadly he lived for 4 months in the Nicu before he died so it has been a long road of healing for us. What helped me most was being honest about my feelings and reaching out to others who had also lost. These people truly understood and I didn't feel so alone. My husband and I were also very respectful of eachothers feelings and actions. Everyone does grieve very differently, especially men and women. I think by not judging eachother , it actually brought us even closer then before we had our son.
I remember the first holidays after we lost him. We were very heartbroken and so wanted to have him with us. We also were talikng about trying again. We broke tradition that year as well. I have a big family with lots of children in it . My famly was very supportive of our decision to not celebrate that year. They were sad but they understood. We chose to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas quietly at home together that year. If you are trying again now and have chosen to stay home and be together then I think it's great you are honoring your feelings and needs.
Trying again wasn't easy as each month that went by without a positive test was also heartbreaking. We finally decided to go ahead and become foster parents, with the possibilty of adopting in the future. Well, sure enough right after we had started fostering I found out I was pregnant! I am now 40 years old and Friday I will be 30 weeks! I have never gotten this far and yes I am scared and I know anything can happen but I choose to take it one day at a time and be happy for each day that has passed.
It is not easy losing your baby , trying again and then being pregnant again thats for sure. I am very hopeful though that I may take this baby home and that keeps me going. Reach out to people that will support you through this time. Hang in there, you are not alone. Sending love to you .
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo
Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013