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New member and just looking for some support

This section is for discussions with other women who have probably been through the same signs/symptoms that you may be experiencing. Please note, we cannot offer medical advice and encourage members to discuss their concerns with their doctors. New members, come on in and introduce yourself!

New member and just looking for some support

Postby bblansit » Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:48 am

Back in October of 2008 I was diagnosed with preeclampsia in my third pregnancy and was induced that same night at 37 weeks. My daughter was born 7 lbs 3 oz and extremely healthy. I recovered quickly from an emergency c-section because she was breech. I didn't think much of the pre-e then. I assumed my blood pressure was elevated and that was the reason they chose to go ahead and induce. I didn't do any further research on the disease nor did I consider it when my husband and I began TTC in October of 2011 when he returned from Iraq. I found out I was pregnant on Mother's Day of 2012. The beginning of the pregnancy was rough when I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum and severe anemia. I am now 34 weeks and last week was told my blood pressure is elevated and my protein in my urine was just under 300 mg. My doctor told me I was headed towards pre-e again. This time I went home and researched everything. I never realized just how serious this disease is. I'm worried for my baby more than anything. My first two pregnancies went great other than some preterm labor. My third was fine other than being induced for pre-e the same day I was diagnosed. I am so scared this time around. My husband basically wants nothing to do with any of it. He's pretty much checked out. He refuses to talk to me about it and when we go to my appointments, that is IF he goes, he spaces out and won't interact with anyone. I understand he is dealing with this the only way he knows how but it's really starting to affect me. I need someone to talk to. I need to feel like everything will be ok and my baby will be fine. And of course the only person that can help me is the one person who has decided he essentially wants nothing to do with me. I feel like my body is broken somehow and cannot handle being pregnant. It's difficult to deal with because as a woman that should be one of the few things we are meant to do right, right? I feel like I just can't do anything right lately. I feel like somehow I'm being a bad mom. I'm sorry for rambling here. How did you all deal with all of this? I just can't seem to wrap my head around all of this.
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Re: New member and just looking for some support

Postby sam10 » Sun Dec 02, 2012 03:16 pm

Welcome! I am sorry that you are feeling that your body is failing you. It seems to be a very common feeling amongst us PE ladies. Me too, I could not help but feel that my body was failing me. I tried to tell myself that there was nothing I could do to change the course of PE. It helped me to know that I received good medical care.
I hope you feel that you are in good hands. Are you being seen by a high-risk OB or MFM?
We know how it feels, so please feel free to post any questions you might have.
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
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Re: New member and just looking for some support

Postby bblansit » Sun Dec 02, 2012 08:30 pm

Thank you so much. I am being seen by a high risk ob because of the preterm labor from my first 3 pregnancies. The furthest I got into a pregnancy was 37 weeks. I went into labor with my son at 28 weeks and ended up hospitalized and on medication. Luckily he stayed in til 36 weeks. I've been monitored closely during this pregnancy because of the preterm labor and having pre-e last time. I'm so very grateful that I've made it to 34 weeks before anything started showing up. I have just been unsure of how to handle this all on my own.
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Re: New member and just looking for some support

Postby sam10 » Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:06 pm

It sounds like you are in good medical hands. I will keep my fingers crossed that you have a few more weeks ahead if you. Just remember PE can turn bad quickly, so it is important to watch for signs/symptoms (higher BP readinds, headache that won't go away with tylenol, vision changes, upper-right qudrant pain, nausea, vomiting, feeling of impending doom) and report them back to your doctor.
I am very sorry that your husband is dealing with your situation in his way, which seems unfortunately not helpful to you. PE and complicated pregnancies are very stressful for everybody, and we all carry the burden. There were times during my last pregnancy when my husband could not deal with it anymore and checked out. However, he let me know that he had no energy for it. I usually let him be and sought help/companionship with friends and family.
If you find yourself all alone, please feel free to post here. We know and can hold your hand from the distance.
I also always just called my docs office when I was in doubt about anything. That was usually most reassuring.
Thinking of you and sending you hugs.
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
sam10
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Re: New member and just looking for some support

Postby mcam10 » Mon Dec 03, 2012 09:57 pm

I'm not sure what goes on with dads during this time. After a visit to the ER postpartum with high bp after my second pregnancy, on the drive home, my husband asked me 'so what exactly is eclampsia?' I think because no one ever told him flat out how bad Preeclampsia can get, he just thought it was one of those things that just gets monitored more often. Once I told him all the nasty parts of it, I was maybe glad he didn't realize how bad it was while i was prego on bedrest. I was stressed out enough during that time as it was, maybe it was good that one of us wasn't totally freaked out? Unfortunately, I think as the mommy carrying the little one, everything just affects us more emotionally and mentally, and I can't say that any amount of people telling you to relax is gonna help. It didn't help for me. but like sam10 said, being able to call your doc all the time with any little question and getting checked even daily if you feel you need it can help at least reassure you a little. my calmest times were waiting for my doc appts watching my belly bounce around knowing she was doing well in there. and knowing the symptoms and staying on top of that at least gives you a little control over the situation, too. i don't know if any of that helps you at all, but i understand what you are feeling. my first pregnancy ended in being induced the day i was diagnosed, so i didn't understand until i got it the second time and researched it maybe too much :). just know that on this forum, there are plenty of people who know what you are going through and are thinking about you.
Melanie
Aidan born at 38w2d in Aug. 2006 due to mild PE
Nadia born at 37w0d in Sept. 2010 due to mild PE and PP PE
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Re: New member and just looking for some support

Postby trish » Mon Dec 10, 2012 09:40 am

Just checking in on you. How're you doing? After PE with my 1st 2 pregnancies we were not planning a 3rd one. But at a annual exam my BP was very high and I had to go off BCP and on BP meds...and about 6 months later we had a little accident who will be 5 this month. :) It was stressful and I felt useless (being on bedrest and not being able to take care of my other 2 girls) and broken just like you said. But, it's not our fault and being thinner, younger, etc. might not have made any difference in getting PE or not.

Hang in there! (((HUGS)))
Trish: mama to my 3 PE Princesses:
Elizabeth 11/6/03 induced at 37 weeks for PE
Katie 4/13/05 induced at 38 weeks for PE
Allison 12/27/07 induced at 36 weeks for PE then PP PE & BP issues for over a year
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Re: New member and just looking for some support

Postby Raposa » Tue Dec 11, 2012 08:12 am

Hi,

My first pregnancy I had "mild" preeclampsia that ended in a successful induced birth at 37 weeks. And afterwards, I recovered fine, no bad side effects, and effectively forgot all about it. It had happened, but I had a baby to take care of, and I was fine, so even though I'd had an idea of how bad it could have been, I didn't think it likely I'd face anything worse the 2nd time around.

Flash forward, and 8 weeks into this pregnancy, I get high blood pressure. Turns out my mom's family has a history of hypertension, so that showed up instead! *grump* I spent about two or three weeks after the initial problems with this pregnancy alternating between freaking out and being calm because I had to work and focus on other things. So, I completely understand that kind of "ambushed" feeling you get when you have put a problem behind you and it jumps back up where you didn't expect it.

On the good side, you don't have far to go to get to that "safe zone" of 37 weeks. I hope the holidays provide some distraction, and that you find time to rest during all the bustle!
1st son, induced at 37 weeks due to pre-e, born 6/18/10.
2nd son, c-section at 37 weeks due to hypertension, born 1/15/13.
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Re: New member and just looking for some support

Postby redboy » Mon Dec 17, 2012 01:26 am

Hi,

I just wanted to share my story because I'm worried about you, but I don't want to worry you. Preeclampsia is very dangerous and can get bad very quickly. Please try to check you blood pressure often and go to Dr. as soon as BP is elevated. I wished I would of known I had pe I would of done anything to try and save my baby. I had normal BP on Thursday Nov 15th, and on Wed Nov 21st, my BP rose to 223/120 which caused a full placenta abruption and I lost my baby boy. I was seeing a specialist because I had a prior loss in 2011, which Dr's didnot find a reason for that stillbirth, but my BP was normal then so it was not PE. Please take care of yourself and try to get your husband to understand, maybe if you talk with your motherinlaw or someone that he listens to. It would be nice to have his support. But if you don't, then just try not to stress about it and take care of yourself and your baby. I am also a new member, I didnot know what PE was until now, but I see alot of people that can help out in this forums. Take care!
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