PTSD?

[heatherd83]

Hi all,

A little background: I experienced PIH and then PP pre-e 2 1/2 years ago when I had my first (and only) baby. I was put on bed rest for the hypertension around 36 weeks and then was induced due to high blood pressure at 38.5 weeks. I had pretty high BP (150s-170s/90s) when I was induced and was given mag before being induced. I did not, however, have the proteinuria associated with pre-e. I had a rough 3-day induction and hours and hours of pushing. My daughter had breathing issues when she was born. She was born Thursday and we weren't released until Saturday. We had to go back Sunday to check her levels for jaundice and she was readmitted to the NICU for her jaundice. While there, I noticed my feet and ankles were incredibly swollen and also I started to see flashing spots in my vision. I went and took my BP and it was about 213/110. I told the nurse and she called my OB who told me to get down to the ER and then he would readmit me to the delivery floor. They did and I was put on mag again. While on mag, I began to pee a TON. I lost 28 pounds (all I gained) in 1 day of urinating. I lost 12 L of fluid (they were measuring). I was put on labetolol twice daily for 6 weeks. At that point my doctor felt comfortable taking me off.

Since this I have only taken my blood pressure about 4 times at home and every time it has been normal. However, I have panic attacks to this day about my BP and am terrified to take it. I thought I have finally conquered my fear about a year ago as I took it consistently at home over a 3-day period and it was always normal. But then I went for my annual exam to my OB and my blood pressure was 170/95 and the nurse flipped out and took it again a minute later and it was 149/85. She said it was better but still high. I do get nervous when I go to the doctor but that first reading just reignited my anxiety over this. I feel like I should go buy a blood pressure machine and just know once and for all if my blood pressure is normal, but I am terrified of what will happen if it isn't. Logically I know this will involve going on BP meds but I am so freaked out about the doctor seeing it being high and sending me to the hospital (I have always had a fear of hospitals as well). So I am suffering pretty severe anxiety over this whole thing and have been for the past 2 years. I am just finally reaching out to see if I am the only one this has continued to affect for so long. I feel really alone in this as my husband says "You're fine now, nothing's wrong. You need to just stop." He doesn't get it. Just needing some support I guess.

Heather

[MomTimesThree]

Hi Heather,

I'm so sorry you've had such anxiety around your BP, at the same time given your history, be gentle with yourself, you've been through a lot. You're not alone. We go through such a scary experience of feeling like a ticking time bomb, that it is hard to shift gears.

Post partum I had some high blood pressure readings and I got very scared and told my doctor sure that I was in trouble. What she said really put me at ease and allowed me to breathe a lil' sigh of relief. Not pregnant, high blood pressure is no bueno, but it is also not the bigger emergency it is while pregnant. My spikes in BP were no longer endangering my baby- they're not great for me, but it's not the same intensity of worry for doctors, and in turn myself. Still something I need to be mindful of, but not to the same extent as when I was pregnant.

All that being said, I think nothing raises ones anxiety more than uncertainty. I hope you find the answers that allow you to relieve some of your worry.