by MomTimesThree (559 Posts), Mon Feb 04, 2013 12:20 am
It's almost impossible for me to look over my records from my first pregnancy- or even really speak the specifics of it because now I know what awful awful care I got... and she got. Care that had it been different leaves me considering too many "what ifs".
What I did take a measure of peace from was knowing that I went into my 2nd pregnancy with such different eyes. I was no longer the naive first time mommy. And while that was bittersweet, making me wish I had those same eyes for my first, I also saw it as a gift our first daughter gave to her lil' bro. Cause all Big Sibs are protective over their lil' ones.
I understand your fear. What got me through was repeating to myself almost daily (ok like every hour) that this was a different pregnancy... that I was a different mommy.
Wishing you moments of peace!
2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w