by Kayleighsmom (1 Posts), Tue Mar 19, 2013 06:06 pm
Everything was going smooth until I reached 13 weeks gestation. I developed gestational diabetes early with this pregnancy. I noticed it had become increasingly difficult to control blood glucose. I was started on insulin; both regular and long acting. This didn't happen before. I was starving, but yet my sugar levels were out of control. The once daily injections soon turned into 3x's daily.
I went in for my second trimester blood draws. I was already considered high risk, but this didn't alarm me. I met with the specialist during my 2nd trimester u/s scan. A genetics counselor came into the room after I learned we were having a girl. I was so excited. Unfortunately, this didn't last long. My odds of DS increased from 1:1000 to 1:5 within several weeks. My world was crushed. The option of having an amniocentesis was brought up, and I had less than 30 minutes to make up my mind. I knew from a previous experience this was out of the question.
I began to search Google to find out what correlations could be drawn from high Beta HCG (3.25), and Inhibin A (8.45). It didn't look good. I was scheduled for a repeat scan a few weeks later. Baby girl looked great. No soft markers, or other concerns. My blood pressure was really high - 153/111. I was 21 weeks at this point. I had experienced nasty headaches that week, and terrible heartburn with nausea. My bp meds were changed, and I was sent home.
Three days had passed, and I noticed my ankles were swelling, and my vision was blurred. That Friday evening I looked at my husband and children as I thought about the inevitable. I drove myself to the hospital fully thinking I would be sent home for high anxiety. My blood pressure was still elevated, and I had an abnormal heart rhythm. I couldn't reach my family by phone, and couldn't drive home. I was sent to another hospital by ambulance. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. When I reached the alternate hospital the condition rapidly worsened to HELLP syndrome. My only option was induction and delivery.
I labored for 12 hours. I received an epidural along with other IV pain medications. Nothing seemed to help. During the induction process I was told my daughter would not survive because I had not reached the age of fetal viability. I was given literature to read - all the while still feeling my daughter's movements. This was too hard. I didn't have anyone by my side. My husband couldn't stay because he needed to be with our other children. We don't have family to rely on either. I was so scared, and very sad.
My bag of waters broke around 10 pm. It was at this point I knew there was no turning back. I couldn't hold on to her anymore. It became very real. I no longer felt her movements. I delivered my precious Angel at midnight. She was sleeping. I was afraid to look at her, but I knew I had to. I gave Kayleigh the once over - I counted her fingers and toes. I looked at her face, and kissed her. I said my goodbyes, and took pictures. My husband was not with us. He didn't want to see her. I pulled every bit of strength I could to make sure I showed she was loved. I had her blessed.
After Kayleigh left my room the emptiness set in. I stayed in the hospital for a total of 4 days. I went home early because I couldn't bare the pain anymore.
I never thought my pregnancy would end this way.
I went to a follow up appointment to see my OB today, and was hit with another blow. It was advised we never try to conceive again, and out of my doctor's career I was his only patient to have Hellp Syndome. Before me he had only read about a case like mine in the text books. I am literally a text book case. I have NEVER felt so horrible. I could tell the staff was informed about me before my arrival. The receptionist's comment was my first clue. She said that I showed up.
I feel like an alien.
Sorry, the story is so long. I want to also share a brief history. I had pre-e with hellp syndrome with my first pregnancy. My son will be 15 this summer. I went on to have three more children - no pre-e. I married a few years ago and had a miscarriage last summer. We conceived last fall and I developed pre-e with hellp syndrome with this child - baby# 6.