I'm so sorry for your loss.
The early days and first year especially are so so hard, especially the holidays and stuff like Mother's day. I remember feeling like I would never be normal again. And it's true, in a sense, my normal is definitely much different then it was before we lost our daughter, and different compared to my friends who haven't lost a child, but I've grown eventually into a new normal, it's not ever the same as it was before our loss, but it's pretty darn comfortable and a lot more happy than I ever imagined was possible with a bit of bittersweetness mixed in.
Hang in there.
Me (29) DH (30)
#1-Olivia Caetlyn-9-28-09-9-28-09, 23+2 wks, emergency classic c-section, class I HELLP, IUGR
#2- Lucas Oliver (rainbow baby)- April 2011, 36+2 wks, HELLP and pre-e free! (lovenox and LDA pregnancy)
#3-Matthew, late October 2012...mostly normal, 37 wks, (lovenox and LDA again)
My blog: http://www.butterflies-and-rainbows.blogspot.com/