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Where you jealous of women with a "normal" pregnancy?

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Where you jealous of women with a "normal" pregnancy?

Postby princess purr » Sat Jul 13, 2013 08:53 am

by princess purr (1092 Posts), Sat Jul 13, 2013 08:53 am

I'm having some major jealous issues... I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow, and we found out we are having a boy last week. So exciting... but I feel like I'm not enjoying this pregnancy like I did my last (until the PE of course). My hubby wants to register and I'm really dragging my feet on it... the idea scares me. I keep thinking about Veronica's things that sat in my basement for years (until his cousin named us Godparents and I gave a lot of veronica's stuff to her). I finally sold a few things on ebay about 7 to 8 years later (thought was, she would have long outgrown them anyway, and they wouldn't still be in the house). I'm trying to think positive, but it's scary.
My blood pressure has been running between 91/55 to 112/73, but mostly under 105/65... we will be 18 weeks tomorrow. I'm guessing I'm not alone in feeling like this.
Val (34) & Carlos (32)
Married: April 29th 2011
Veronica Rosina, 11/25/2004-11/27/2004
Born at 26.5 weeks (1 lb 4oz, 14 inches) because of severe preeclampsia (doc says I was on my way to HELLP but not there yet)
Nicholas Robert, 11/22/2013 7 lb 7oz 19.5 inches, born at 36 weeks (due to previous classical c-section) PE FREE!!!!!!
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Re: Where you jealous of women with a "normal" pregnancy?

Postby MomTimesThree » Sat Jul 13, 2013 06:15 pm

by MomTimesThree (571 Posts), Sat Jul 13, 2013 06:15 pm

You're totally not alone. I still find myself sometimes starring just a little too long at very full term pregnant women- kinda like their an animal in a zoo because being full term and walking a doing normal things is SO foreign to me. We've all hidden behind a smile, so I really try to remind myself that you can't know someone else's story just by looking at them.

I held off on doing anything and everything for our second. I didn't even want to talk about the pregnancy with people. A good friend told me to try to "Fake it 'til you make it", so I did. Even though that natural excitement that I had with my first wasn't there to buy things and look forward, I did my best to fake it... and somewhere along the way it became real and felt right.

In retrospect I wish I had done more. You're pregnant so short a time in your entire life, I wish I would have faked it a little more, a little earlier. In hindsight (so obnoxiously 20/20) I understand that being excited, doing things for our new baby wasn't going to erase any love I had for our first, and wasn't going to stop or cause anything bad to happen. And if I did, I would have wanted to have those same special memories with our 2nd that I did with our first.

There's no doubt it's so complicated, and each of us have to find the road that's right for us, that brings us the most peace. I am hopeful you'll find the road that is right for you.
Lauren
2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w
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Re: Where you jealous of women with a "normal" pregnancy?

Postby princess purr » Sun Jul 14, 2013 10:06 am

by princess purr (1092 Posts), Sun Jul 14, 2013 10:06 am

I guess that is part of my problem, I feel like if I act like everything is going to be okay, then it won't be... like I need to be careful every step of the way... like i'm trying to hide from the PE... like maybe my body will just let me stay pregnant if I don't act pregnant.
Val (34) & Carlos (32)
Married: April 29th 2011
Veronica Rosina, 11/25/2004-11/27/2004
Born at 26.5 weeks (1 lb 4oz, 14 inches) because of severe preeclampsia (doc says I was on my way to HELLP but not there yet)
Nicholas Robert, 11/22/2013 7 lb 7oz 19.5 inches, born at 36 weeks (due to previous classical c-section) PE FREE!!!!!!
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Re: Where you jealous of women with a "normal" pregnancy?

Postby MomTimesThree » Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:59 am

by MomTimesThree (571 Posts), Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:59 am

I totally get that. When you're pregnant so much is out of your control, it's like if I can just control this aspect then I can ensure all those things that are out of my control won't happen.

I really liked and held on to the quote, "Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles, it robs today of its strength."

I'm thinking of you, it's a hard being pregnant with eyes sooooo wide open to everything.
Lauren
2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w
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Re: Where you jealous of women with a "normal" pregnancy?

Postby whereowhere » Sun Jul 14, 2013 05:19 pm

by whereowhere (56 Posts), Sun Jul 14, 2013 05:19 pm

I understand, only now that I am past the scariest time for PE, am I able to look at another pregnant woman without feeling jealous. (Although if she is carrying twins as was my loss, I can't bear to be near her!) I started my pregnancy with a lot of feelings of bitterness towards pregnant women. I had what they had and it was stolen from me! And I would never know that freedom of expecting a baby again rather than hoping I MIGHT have a baby to love in the end. I didn't know if I'd even be able to see myself pregnant, such was my hatred of a pregnant belly!

I am now in a place where I can actually go shopping for baby things. Although most of the things I have bought I give to my mom to put in storage so I will not have to see those things if lightening strikes again. This is a hard journey, and the longest 9 months of my life! But somehow time passes a day at a time!
Ectopic Pregnancy-2010

Miscarriage-2011

Lost my beautiful boy & girl twins at 21 weeks to severe preeclampsia-2012
Mommy & Daddy will love you forever my sweet babies!

Pregnant again, due September 26, 2013. Praying for a pre-e free pregnancy.

Delivered a healthy baby girl at exactly 37 weeks, pre-e free! Had some hypertension post-partum but resolved with BP meds.



C-section planned for September 5, 2013 at exactly 37 weeks.
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Re: Where you jealous of women with a "normal" pregnancy?

Postby JackandJayne » Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:05 pm

by JackandJayne (3 Posts), Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:05 pm

I was the same. And it sounds vain, but I'm normally about 90 lbs on a 5'2" frame and when I was pregnant both times I weighed in around 165 lbs and my face looked like the Michelin mans : (. I was in terrible shape and had complications in delivery that were on top of the preeclampsia and hellp which left me with c sections and I felt robbed AGAIN with that. Then when other moms were happy and bonding with their baby after delivery I was running 12 hour mag sulfate doses and puking my guts out (sorry to be graphic) so again I felt soooo robbed.

But, the one good thing you've got going is a new baby : ). Don't cheat yourself the fun times while you can have them. Ignore the other healthy moms and go pick out some cute baby stuff and count your blessings! You are definitely NOT alone!

I wish they had preeclampsia groups locally for some of the moms who have to deal with this so they could suffer together :)
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