First post... I was looking for a HELLP section that I read on another site existed here. Am I missing it? Sorry if I'm posting in the wrong area.
In early 2009 I became pregnant totally unexpectedly and in spite of precautions taken. I was on my own except for the constant stress he caused by trying to force me to to abort because I was "ruining his life" though I told him I wanted nothing from him. I wasn't young; I was 30, financially independent, and had plenty of family support. I'm only mentioning this stuff because I wonder if the extreme stress of working 70+ hour weeks and dealing with a jerk of this magnitude didn't add to the problems I ended up having. Honestly, not exaggerating, he did not let up for a moment and still hasn't 4 years later. We are now in a full-fledged custody battle. The stress has been enormous.
Now for the good stuff; I've been with someone since my son was just a few months old (he's 4 now). I'm not getting any younger and would really, really like to have another baby. Problem is, I'm terrified. If something happens to me, my son is stuck with that selfish lunatic that fathered him. I don't want to be selfish and risk that just because I want another baby now that I'm in a great relationship, intended to be permanent. OTOH, am I being paranoid? HELLP is so rare that it seems like if I weren't the one scared, it would seem a bit irrational to tell someone never to try again. I feel terrible that my current bf would miss out on ever having kids just to stay with me, when he's already proven himself a great father to my 4yr old son. He claims it's "not a dealbreaker" if I can't have another baby, but I think he's just being nice. I want another child; I'm not wanting it just because I think he does. I really would like to have the experience again, this time not be made miserable through all the things that are supposed to be so happy.
I had a rough pregnancy from the beginning. I was sick every day (I was told that wasn't unusual for a first preg), worked anyway (no choice- I was on my own), despite blackouts and constant nausea, felt pretty good during month 5, then got pre-e, went undiagnosed, and ended up having an emergency C-section at not quite 33 weeks with Class 1 HELLP, liver enzymes in the high 900's, platelets at 15. BP was 210/140 and not going down. My normal bp is about 90/60. I spent 4 days on mag, almost 2 weeks in ICU, had 3 transfusions (2 platelets and 1 whole blood). I didn't see my son for several days after he was born. He was strong- all APGARs were 9's. No oxygen, even, but spent a month in NICU before he learned to eat. He was 4lbs 10oz and came home at 5lbs 12oz. Aside from the occasional stutter and some ADHD symptoms (he may just be an obnoxious, precocious little boy!), my son is the picture of health and normal. He's even big for his age and ahead of the curve intellectually, despite being quite premature. He is quite a miracle. I hate to tempt fate...but...
What, in all your experiences, are the odds of success after HELLP, at what ages, and what other factors played a role, if any? IE, what was your health previously, any family history of HELLP or pre-e, same fathers, different fathers, long relationships or brand new (there was a paper published in Switzerland that showed a correlation between new relationships and an increase in HELLP), etc.?
I'm trying to get a realistic picture from real people, not just read terrifying and conflicting studies. There hardly ARE any studies on HELLP, at least not in this country. Are there any people with similar stories near Chicago? Any recommended docs I could talk to to get an idea of whether I'm a horrible mother for even wanting this or if I might be ok the 2nd time around?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far!