I just wanted to hear others thoughts on my situation, I'm very torn at the moment on the choice of if I want to go for number two or be happy with my one.
During my first pregnancy I was about 18 weeks along when I first started having issues, I was organizing an ultrasound when I was standing talking to the receptionist and I started feeling funny then blacked out, my husband fortunately caught me. After that it started happening randomly whenever I would stand or walk, I got diagnosed with hypertension and put on medication and stopped working a week after and because of the blacking out became very housebound. My biggest issue was that absolutely none of the doctors during my pregnancy listened to me they all blew me off when I told them what was happening when I was standing up and I still don't have any explanation. I tried to tell my GP at every visit and he would roll his eyes, so I tried ignoring the problem but kept nearly collapsing every time I walked 10 metres lol. I became increasing fatigued and cognitively impaired over the next few months, seeing lights etc and developing a deep sense that something was wrong but absolutely nobody listened, at 32 weeks I saw a midwife who was very concerned about me and the lack of care I was receiving and wanted me under her care however she was out of town so it wasn't possible. By 34 weeks my dr finally admitted me into hospital where I was on bed rest, he dumped me onto another dr who looked after me for a couple weeks then dumped me onto another dr who flew me out to the main hospital in Perth. They looked after me for a few days then because my bp was not consistently high (it skyrocketed randomly then crashed several times over the day), stuck me in a boarding house across the road, telling me to check in whenever things were wrong. I tried to tell them my bp was high only when I walked or stood but nobody listened and probably nearly killed me several times whenever I was forced to walk, I kept going in and telling them it was high and I would have to sit for 40 minutes waiting for them to check it and it would drop down (as I was sitting) and by the time they checked it would be 140/110 and they would give me an additional medication to get it to 140/90 and send me away.
At 38 weeks they induced me as I really forcibly told them that it may only be 140/110 now but I swear it is sky rocketing at night I am seeing lights, extremely lucid and feeling extremely unsafe. Right before they induced me it was sitting at 160/130, I got through the birth really well though and had a beautiful 5 pound daughter. She was diagnosed with IUGR and spent a couple days in NICU as she was unable to maintain her body temp. I think they examined the placenta and diagnosed me with Pre Eclampsia, up until that point they hadn't as I lacked the proteins and edema in hands or feet. I was in hospital for another week then finally got home safely.
It took 3 months for my bp to return to normal, and I am unsure if I have an underlying condition as I suspect it bounces around somedays. My circulation is now hideous, much worse than it was before and up to a year afterwards I would sometimes get that same horrible feeling when walking that blood wasn't getting somewhere and I had to rest or collapse.
I love my daughter so much, she is so beautiful and vibrant, hard going (high need bub lol waking 10 times a night until 20 months old now and always needing to be near me) She has been a challenge in herself, she is nearing two now and I am trying to decide if we should have another or not.
My issue is I can't get another doctor, they are short in the town where I live and I'm scared of having problems like last time and not having someone who listens. I really suspect I had cerebral edema and it frightens me that nobody cared or heard me when I told them what was happening. I think I am so lucky things didn't turn out much worse for me last time and I have a beautiful little girl.
But I also love the idea of another beautiful child, I never considered only having one, it was always going to be two but now I'm afraid as I feel really unsure about my health (I am fit and healthy but I still suspect an underlying condition) and am totally terrified of improper medical care.
Sorry for length, I'm just working it all out in my head lol.
Any advice, thoughts?