by lkw787 (16 Posts), Sun Sep 22, 2013 11:32 pm
I nearly died of HELLP Syndrome two days after ceasing lovenox injections one week before my medically necessary scheduled C-section and I was not remotely worried about the impending C-section. I was SO HAPPY AND CONFIDENT in my pregnancy (which until then had been laid back, relatively uneventful from a medical standpoint and incredibly EASY) THAT I allowed myself to have a baby shower and decorate a nursery. Hubby didn't want to create a nursery. I thought it was because he was being uncharacteristically selfish about giving up his small office to turn it into the baby's room but when I finally returned home to live six months after HELLP nearly killed me he confessed that he feared that we were not going to come home with a baby! (After three prior pregnancy losses he had a hard time believing in success.) I, on the other hand, had finally become convinced that DE (donor egg) IVF represented our only hope and that the three prior losses MUST HAVE BEEN DUE TO "OLD AGE/BAD EGGS" rather than other factors. (It had taken me a long time to accept the "old eggs" argument since I kept conceiving naturally, after giving up actively trying (!) So when I finally achieved my DE IVF conceived pg I was HAPPY, BLISSED OUT, RELAXED AND CONVINCED WE WERE "HOME FREE." IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME TO WORRY ABOUT ME, only about my baby being born healthy.
My mood when pregnant was BLISSED OUT, happy, relaxed, worrying about NOTHING. I had been laid off from my high stress creative job early on in the pg so had done NOTHING STRESSFUL, instead, eating right, exercising (prenatal yoga and swim aerobics), and resting.
So, I don't think mood had anything to do with my getting HELLP, but rather bad genetics: whatever paternal genetics contribute to HELLP as well as AMA (I was 44) and the fact of having used donor oocytes to conceive (which I hear also ups the risk though I'm not sure why.)
NOT MOOD...I WAS BLISSED OUT, RELAXED, OVERJOYED...Please ladies, lets not blame ourselves. God knows so many others are eager to do that, lets not help pile on unnecessary guilt.