I am so sorry for your losses. Both incredibly heartbreaking. I wish we could send you more than virtual hugs for all the pain you are enduring.
Your post doesn't indicate what kind of medical care you have sought, but my first reaction to your question is that if I were you I would spend some time with a maternal-fetal medicine specialist to examine your particular situation, your risk factors, any underlying issues - some that could possibly be addressed before trying to get pregnant again. I wouldn't accept a blanket statement like "we just don't know." While that IS true and there are no guarantees in this world of making babies, there are several areas where a very thorough healthcare provider could look to try to minimize your risks. That said, he or she is also in the best position to assess your risk and discuss surrogacy.
If you're not sure where to find an MFM near you, check out the Physician Locator at smfm.org.
Eleni Z. Tsigas
2x PE survivor; 29 week daughter died, 35 week IUGR son made it after 2 weeks of NICU fun; 3rd pregnancy PE-free resulted in strapping 8 pounder son, born at term.