Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSANE???

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.

Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSANE???

Postby cgellura » Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:58 am

I am a 36 y/o mom of two - my daughter just turned four and my son just turned two. Before my son's birth in 2011, we always imagined we'd have three children. However, after two PE pregnancies (with the 2nd - my son - being much more severe) I started to think that we should not have any more children. First of all, I don't want to die. I also don't want to put my child at risk for severe illness or death.

So here we are. My daughter has been telling us she wants another 'baby' and she doesn't care if it's a boy baby or a girl baby but she WANTS one. LOL! Her talk has come at a time when my body is SCREAMING at me to have another child. It is difficult to ignore at times. I am always daydreaming about being pregnant and having another baby and even love looking at all the baby stuff when we're at shops.

Then comes reality...preeclampsia. My fist pregnancy was uncomfortable (severe hyperemesis g.) but manageable. I developed PE at 35 weeks with my daughter born via c-section at the end of 36. She went home the same day as me. Pregnancy two, not as bad with the nausea/vomiting, but my PE was much more severe. I was on hospital bed rest at 32 weeks due to BP and proteinuria. One day that week my BP and protein spiked and my son was born via c-section mid-32 weeks. Thankfully, he was totally healthy with no issues. He spent just over 4 weeks in NICU learning to eat and growing. I had continued BP issues following delivery and was put on Labetalol about 5 days post delivery. The day after delivery I lost my vision (serous retinal detachments in booth eyes). While the vision loss wasn't life threatening on its own, it was scary. I definitely don't want to go through that again. More than that, I don't want to experience a worse case of PE than in my last pregnancy. I've been reading up on calcium supplementation, baby aspirin, etc. and it has given me 'some' hope for a third child.

I am otherwise pretty healthy. I have hypothyroidism with some anemia (though I've been working on keeping my levels up). If we do have another child, I would be monitoring BP at home and am keenly aware of things to look out for and when I did to be seen or head straight to hospital. I also plan to purchase urine test strips for use at home (unless our insurance plan would like to cover them, of course!)

I'd love to hear from some of you who have had similar experiences after PE pregnancies, and how your pregnancy went. I am approaching this cautiously, but biology (desire to have another child) is very strong. Am I insane? Stupid? (be kind...)

Mom of 2 young children. Severe preeclampsia with both pregnancies. Having a third in 2014
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby jenh » Tue Sep 03, 2013 06:10 pm

Well, if you're insane, so am I. I had severe PE at 35 weeks with my first and mild PE at 37 weeks with my second, with two miscarriages in there as well. I didn't hesitate to try for a third and ended up with twins, which was terrifying. I was diagnosed PIH at 22 weeks, mild PE at 31, hospitalized with moderate PE at 33, and induced at 36. Hours after giving birth, I was in a coma. It was scary enough for us to decide we were done, and DH had a vasectomy. Four years later, we're saving money to have it reversed so we can have another. I had hoped making it final would bring peace; it didn't. I had no idea the desire would be so strong, but there it is.

As for the next pregnancy, I take comfort in knowing I trust my doctors and myself to monitor properly and ensure the best possible outcome for us all. I'm working on getting myself in the best shape possible, and have made a big change in diet to reduce inflammation. I don't count on it to save me, but it might help. We hope to have the money by March, reversal surgery in April, and TTC next summer.
Jen
Wife to Brett 6/30/02
Mom to Ethne Joy 10/12/03, 35 weeks, severe PE
Mom to Catie Grace 12/8/06, 37 weeks, mild PE
Mom to Riley Faith and Gavin Arthur 7/7/09, 36 weeks, PIH 22 weeks, PE 31 weeks, severe post partum PE
Mom to two angels 12/05 and 7/08
Running a Marathon for the PF: http://www.whatyourunningfor.blogspot.com
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby mulholland.miracles » Wed Feb 19, 2014 01:45 pm

So glad I found your post, I too am insane !I have had two children 1 born at 27 weeks, due to severe preeclampsia, and second pregnancy had severe preeclampsia, hellp syndrome, cholestasis and gestational diabetes. I have a consult tomorrow with a MFP to discuss possible pregnancy, my first pregnancy was planned, second was a surprise so I'm not sure if there was anything I could or should have done before conceiving to reduce these issues. but I am nervous about tomorrow, nervous to be told no again. I have two beautiful healthy boys who truly are my miracles, But I would love just 1 more, boy or girl I don't care. I want to be able to go at least close to full term, seeing other people have kids with no issues makes me so angry with myself, not knowing why me? what can I do, and why cant this be stopped. Being told over and over again by people that your crazy, you cant have anymore kids is heart breaking, it kills me. My only fear is dying and leaving my kids behind, and I cant do that, my husband and I are all they have, we don't have a big family, or involved parents, its just us two. I hope you found answers as well and I would love to listen to your story, and hear if you were successful with having your third. Looking forward to your reply..

Stacy
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby caryn » Thu Feb 20, 2014 11:41 am

It's not you doing something wrong. I promise!
Science! The articles you don't want to miss:
The Preeclampsia Puzzle (New Yorker) and Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy (New York Times)
Looking for recent articles and studies? Lectures from researchers?
A chance to participate in research? For us on Facebook or Twitter?

Caryn, @carynjrogers, who is not a doctor and who talks about science stuff *way* too much
DS Oscar born by emergent C-section at 34 weeks for fetal indicators, due to severe PE
DD Bridget born by C-section after water broke at 39 weeks after a healthy pregnancy
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby mulholland.miracles » Thu Feb 20, 2014 10:02 pm

I finally heard some good news today, 4 years of waiting for this news. Now my husband is totally against having a third, I guess he just went along with it because he too was convinced that this wouldn't be possible... So now his excuse of him not wanting me to die, is "i don't want another preemie, we were lucky, neither of our kids needed to be intubated, and did not have any other life threatening illnesses due to prematurity, their little 1.lb 8oz, and 2lb 5 oz butts just had to grow. So now to the disappointment again, how do I deal with it? any husbands out there that could write him a little word of encouragement? :?:
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby brandib » Fri Feb 21, 2014 02:02 pm

I don't think you're insane or stupid :) I am a four time preeclampsia survivor with three NICU stays. I was told after my first time that I would most likely never get it again. I then had another baby and got it again. I then was told that it was MUCH milder the 2nd time so I probably wouldn't develop it again.......welllllll, I did. .....and it was rough. After my third time I was scared to have another and in society's eyes these days, 3 is the new 6 so I was told umpteen times that I had more than enough and should have my tubes tied. I had a fourth baby and had preeclampsia again (also my first and only c section.) Let me tell you a little secret.......I still can't totally rule out never having another baby!!!!!! I understand!! I KNOW you don't want to die and its scary! I KNOW you don't want to risk losing a baby or having a micro preemie! I KNOW you wish someone could look at you and tell you what the end result of a future pregnancy will be! BIG BIG ((((((HUGS)))))) to you!! <3 It's a choice that is SO incredibly personal, ONLY what you and your husband feel matters!! If you decide to have another, we'll ride the roller coaster with you! <3
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby mulholland.miracles » Fri Feb 21, 2014 09:04 pm

This is such a great COMMUNITY! I am so glad to have so many people to talk to who have went through the same thing and can relate to my fears and worries, and understand how I could end up being terrified of every little thing So here we go! WE are going to try this month, before, and after ovulation (trying for a girl since we have 2 boys) and I read about a O plus 12 theory of having intercourse 12 hours after ovulation. I'm nervous/ excited, Started prenatal vitamins today, cranberry supplement, also I am going to use evening primrose oil, and milk thistle, read they they do help decrease preeclampsia, though my biggest fear is help syndrome, did you also go through that ??? and advice on how to have a girl!??? :roll:
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby aundapenner » Sat Feb 22, 2014 10:22 am

Sounds to me like whatever you decide, you are going into it with full awareness.

We truly are the lucky ones - those of us who can sit at our computers and type about our stories, those of us who can cuddle our babies every day and night.

But we also know the risk we take with having additional pregnancies. Unfortunately, my body just doesn't do pregnancy well. Surviving preeclampsia twice, dealing with the daily ramifications of having had a 34-weeker (ADHS, hearing aid, etc.) well, for me, the decision was to not take that risk.

But oh, how my ovaries ache. I long for that feeling of having a baby inside, feeling it move around and knowing that it was a product of love ... and then, I think of all that I have, all that I have fought, and I am so very thankful to be where I am today. For us, the decision to not have any biological children was not only about me facing my fears, but also accepting my husband's fears ... however, we are in the process of adopting so a bigger family is an option for us.

No one but you and your spouse can make this decision - it is a massive decision with risks that are well-known. Preeclampsia is a mean, ugly thing that takes away the innocence of first time pregnancies. I only recommend you take your time and really consider all options. I also found it very helpful to have contingency plans for contingency plans for contingency plans ... what if I were pregnant, what if everything went well, what if I were hospitalized, what hospital, what doctor, who would take care of the kids, the dogs, teh household, and IMO most importantly, how would my husband deal with this ALL again?

Not sure I'm as optimistic as other, but for me personally, I just tried to be as realistic as possible.
Alice - survivor of PE twice and mama to Heinrich (Henry), May 2006, born at 34+2 at 4lbs 5 oz and Sofia, February 2009, born at 37+1 at 6lbs 5oz.

Very thankful for the PF - who I found after Henry was dealing with preemie issues.
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Re: Considering #3 after 2 severe PE pregnancies. Am I INSAN

Postby honey » Wed Jun 18, 2014 05:19 pm

Hello I had preeclampsia with my first starting at 32 weeks induced at 37 weeks 5 years later I had it with my son.second time was much more severe I almost died,organs were failing had emergency csection at 32 weeks,it came on very quickly.I desperately wanted a third I was terrified,had 4 years infertility finally after a cyst removal I was pregnant.hospital monitored me very closely I had aspirin from about week 14,and apart from a few problems my son arrived safely 2 days late.no preeclampsia,so it can happen,they will take care of you and always put you first.good luck
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