Loss and grieving and hurt!

[miamibunnie]

I had to deliver my baby 3 weeks ago. But she was not intubated and was never offered to be placed in a incubater. Due to that she passed away 3 minutes later. The doctors told me she would not make it and the dr said it would make no sense to intubate her. She was a 23 wk. My first daughter was 24-25 wks and she was born at another hospital. This hospital worked miracles and they tried there best and my daughter is 13 yrs old and healthy thx the lord. I feel that this hospital were not specialized and seriously did not know what they were doing. With my 1st daughter I had eclampsia with seizure and with this 2nd baby I just had PE she was not even given steroize to develop her lungs like they did with my first daughter. I still ask myself why did I go there it is the hardest thing.
I have to live with. I happen to work at that facility and the care I received was horrible. I was not given BP meds to control bp before delivering her. And to add to that I also gave birth on my own with no dr or nurse in the room. This is bad just really bad.I think about the "WHAT IF" I would of gone to where my daughter was born, she would of been alive. I love you Taylor mommy will never forget you never....

[annes]

Lisette, I am so sorry for your loss, losing a child is just so terrible and the what if's and whys can really make you lose your mind. I have gotten and contnue to get so much support from the people on this forum, I hope you'll stick around, it is very comforting to be able to talk to people who really know what you are going through. Take care of yourself.

[rosemary]

Lisette, I am so sorry for the loss of your Taylor. The "what if's" are so incredibly hard to deal with. My thoughts are with you...wish you peace.

[l412angel]

What if's are the worst. Hugs to you!

[frogibe]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I am still going through the "what if's". Just know that your daughter knew she was loved and will always be loved.

[brianned5]

I'm so sorry for your loss. 1 year 10 months later and the what if's still plague me.

[lucy]

I agree the "what ifs" are haunting 5 and 6 years and they are still something I deal with every day but with it comes an understanding I think that you did the best you could in terrible circumstances at least that is what I am working on believing. Hang in there.

[miamibunnie]

I want to thank all of the Mommys....because we are Moms...I am so thankful that I can express my self with other moms that have gone through what I have gone through. Every night I cry...its such a pain as if they were taking my last breath away from me. I ask myself why me...so many Moms that hurt there children are the most fertiled and with no pregnance complications, those women who use drugs...those women who allow others to hurt there children,,,I ask myself why me.....I work....I went to school, I dt hurt anyone,,,why me,,,,the day of her due date will be so hard for me just thinking the day she should of been born.

Thx everyone for your support!