by jmom08 (486 Posts), Sun Jun 13, 2010 02:51 pm
I hope it's OK to post -- I got the idea from a recent thread (I think in another folder) that mentioned a unique mother/child relationship because of the PE experience, and how it's hard for non-PE moms to understand...
DS is 4 years old -- his whole pregnancy was rough, especially at the end, but he's doing great. He is my universe. Tomorrow I'm scheduled to deliver baby #2 (repeat c-section), DS has been expressing excitement throughout the pregnancy, and no PE! I was feeling fairly prepared for the birth. Then, as of yesterday, DS has suddenly withdrawn from me, to the point he won't interact with me at all, doesn't want me to put him to bed for the first time ever (*sniff*), etc... it's like he's pretending I'm not in the house. The good news is that he's still acting happy, and is attaching himself to DH. He knows the the baby comes out tomorrow. I'm guessing this must be a normal reaction to his worries/anxiety (protecting himself from changes?), but I'm having a hard time with him avoiding me, especially with other stresses/events going on. Plus pregnancy hormones. I feel like one big kleenex.
I'm sorry for the long post -- I would just be really grateful for tips for making the adjustment to baby #2, especially with respect to your relationship with child #1, and especially when child #1 was a PE baby. I feel like I'm losing this unique relationship we've had. I've been told it will be good for both me & DS to have baby #2, and we very much want baby #2, and I know how lucky I am to have made it this far with no PE, and I know we can still make time for me & DS alone -- but I'm also aware things won't be the same. I think having DS suddenly withdraw from me (especially this weekend... I'd had these plans for a last special "3 of us" weekend together) is sort of driving it home.
We watched the Sibling Silly video a few weeks ago, and we've read big brother books, and DS is still expressing excitement about the baby... so I guess attaching to DH at this point must be what he needs. I'm glad he's happy, and it seems like he's adjusting as best he can. I'm just feeling weepy and having a hard time (I'm sure not for the last time!) seeing him grow apart from me. :( Part of me feels like I'm being silly and irrational and that I should be focused on the good, so maybe it's all just hormones. I apologize for taking up so much space with it!
Thanks very much in advance.