Getting close to my original c-section date

[uncskristy]

Our original delivery was set for August 31st. My due date was Sept 7th but I had a previous c-section and did not want to try a VBAC so we were scheduling surgery for a week before. My oldest son was two days past his due date, I had had a perfect pregnancy and we had to force him out with first an induction and when that did not work a c-section. So until May 17th, I absoluately had no thoughts about Cooper coming before the end of August. I have done pretty well for the last couple of weeks. I actually have pictures of Cooper up in my office and are able to explain to strangers that he was born too early to make it. Today when I realized that I am only a month and a day away from when I should have been holding a healthy baby Cooper, I broke down and I have been tearing up all afternoon long. I am sure the closer to the end of August we get the more frequent these days & moments will happen. Have any of you experienced this the closer you get to your original delivery or due dates?

[kerisue]

My original due date isn't until September 24. I KNOW I will be a mess around that time too, especially since I have a coworker due a couple weeks later who will be looking all cute and pregnant.
I'm so sorry you lost Cooper.

[rosemary]

Kristy..I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Cooper. The weeks and days leading up to due dates are so very hard. You aren't alone in how you feel..it was a very difficult time for me too. Please try to be gentle with yourself in the days and weeks ahead. Take care.

[riehlism]

Kristy, Kerisue, it looks like we're all on the same boat. My due date is September 17th. I'm feeling anxious about that as well. Tomorrow is August and it's coming around fast. I don't know how I will handle it. My husband and I planned to bury our son on his due date. We still haven't been able to bury the little guy. He's still at home with us.

Experienced moms, what did you guys do around that time?

[wrennie]

I am so sorry for your loss. Dates are always hard especially the first ones. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. We have all been there. For me & specific dates, I try to plan my day as much as possible. I have it all laid out in my mind before ever getting to the day. Planning and thinking about the day ahead of time for some reason takes the edge off and enables me not loose sight of how I needed to spend it.

Remembering my angel is always hard, its hard to grasp she is gone, even 2 and 1/2 years later. It was particularly hard in the beginning as we had no grave site. In the time since, we now have a grave stone, its up in the mountains and is a 2hr drive, so it is a nice symbolic day when we visit her stone. But, her urn is still here with us. I imagine someday I will take it to be buried. But, I still cant imagine not having her here..so maybe i wont. I just listen to my heart as much as possible when I take the steps that i do.

[annes]

I was completely unprepared for how hard my due date was going to be. I think because my older son was born at 33 weeks, I figured I would never make it to my due date with Griffin, the date was like a technicality to me. Well, I was wrong. I spent that day in bed, a mess. There is nothing you can do to make yourself not be upset on that day, except to prepare yourself for it, whatever you think you need to do to get through the day, plan for it. Most importantly, take care of yourself.

[shierman]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. As everyone else has already said, these milestone days are always very difficult, particularly the first ones. I didn't think that my due date would affect me that much, so I didn't prepare myself for it. Big mistake. Emotionally, I would second it to Gabriel's first angelversary. I was a wreck, as was my DH. My best piece of advice for you is to spend some time thinking about how you're going to spend the day. Even if that means you plan to stay in bed all day, I think it would help to know that in advance. You can always do something different based off of your mood, but it really does help to know you're going to be an emotional wreck in advance rather than letting it hit you all at once.