by laura (5139 Posts), Thu Oct 30, 2003 01:43 am
You know, as far as maternal mortality is concerned... I think the US rates are running .01% or 11 per 100,000. Not likely at all. With PE, I think our risks for PE are eclampsia and hemmorage, and stroke. With PE, it's far more likely that, like Carol and baby Tara, our babies will bear the brunt of PE.
I have heard it said that maternal mortality is a function of the quality of medical care the mom's receiving and baby's mortality is a function of how sick you got, ykwim? We shouldn't be dying from PE, it's largely preventable, and one of our docs always says that PE IS curable, by delivering the pregnancy. Your chances of having a successful pregnancy are greatly increased as your quality of care is increased.
I did find really great proactive care- and that has changed my ideas of whether it's worth the risk or not. I'm glad I risked pregnancy #2, I'm still on the fence about pregnancy #3. I've resigned myself to the inevitibility that my pregnancies are going to be complicated- but then again, I delivered 35-36 weekers, too. (this is the only place on the planet I can come and say- hey my kids were really close to term- only one month premature!) This is hard stuff. I hate how capriciously people can just say- you shouldn't do it. Like it's just that easy. Like the hard choices we make are that easy to live with. And face it- it's just plain not fair.
90% of other mom's considering a subsequent pregnancy are thinking- do we have the room? will movie tickets for size X family be too much? And we're thinking- will I live? Can I afford a $25,000 pregnancy? $100,000 NICU stay? Can I handle it if my baby doesn't live? (that's my big stumbling block. I'm willing to take the personal risk, but my constant- well founded- fear of stillbirth during pg #2 was enough to spook me badly) Nobody can really understand these fears unless they've been there. And blithely throwing out- it's not worth it- tells us that the troubles we deal with in getting our kids here aren't worth it. I think our kids are worth it, don't you?
good luck, and either way you go, we're with you!
Allie 5-13-98 (35 weeks-pre-e)
Baby Camille 4-17-03 (36 weeks- htn and oligo)