How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby angelkat » Tue Jun 29, 2004 05:27 pm

The last few days I have been having a hard time with my thoughts and how I will deal with bring Casey home. I feel so darn guilty because Katlyne never was able to come home and we never even had a chance to make a nursery for her and here we are spending all this time and engery making a really cute nursery for Casey. I know deep down in my heart Katlyne is with me each and every step but that doesn't help the feelings (and yes, at times anger) that I was able to do anything of this for her.

Sorry for the ramble..... It's been one of those days today...

Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey Looking at Aug
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V
angelkat
Registered User
 
Posts: 3423
Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:26 am

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby 5thtymachrm » Tue Jun 29, 2004 11:04 pm

~~~~HUGS~~~~

I have no answer for you T, just hugs for your bad day. I am sure that Katlyne is happy for you, looking down from heaven and sitting on your shoulder helping you through this pg for her brother. You would have done the same exact thing for her had she been in the position to come home.

I hope this doesn't sound wrong or something for me to say. You are a wonderful person and of course a wonderful Mom and if I could I would take away all your pain and anguish.

<<<<more hugs your way>>>>

Elizabeth

Indigo E. 11/20/03:37wks, PIH
ttc #2 is a go!
5thtymachrm
Registered User
 
Posts: 909
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2003 01:07 pm

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby josiah1112 » Wed Jun 30, 2004 06:00 am

I would think that it will be bitter sweet for you.
You will be so grateful and content to bring Casey home,
but your mind will always go back to Katlyne.. Physically, you
will also see some similarites between both babies.. T, I hope
you have a much better day today. Remember that you did
everything you could for your baby girl. She knows how loved
she was by you.
PS Of all of us that post in this forum you are the first
that will go through this.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
Moderator- Foro Latino
Future Adoptive Mom
josiah1112
Registered User
 
Posts: 1368
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 09:50 pm

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby kim » Wed Jun 30, 2004 08:10 am

T
Hugs to you. I cannot imagine the feelings you are going through. You are such a strong woman with a mighty angel on your shoulder!! Take care and big hugs to you!!!


Kim
Texas Chapter Coordinator

Ainsley 11/26/02-36 Weeks Preeclampsia
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/ainsleyk/
kim
Registered User
 
Posts: 555
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2003 08:44 pm

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby for faith » Wed Jun 30, 2004 09:27 am

HUGS to you T. I hope that you get peace thinking about Katlyne and how she is watching over you all. I have thought about this since we are going to try again soon. I currently have Faith's room done, just as if she was there (even though she was never home with us), I haven't been able to take anything down. I think I will feel sad to change things, but I already have a special area in the house picked out that I will have all her things, right between the nusery and my son's bedroom. Just thought I would share that, if it helps any. Everything I'm sure will be so hard and so wonderful at the same time. Thanks for sharing, I know all of us will learn so much from your experience. I hope to be there next year.

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02
for faith
Registered User
 
Posts: 1749
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2004 02:15 pm

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby sherry fisher » Wed Jun 30, 2004 12:07 am

T,

I can not imagine what you are going through. Truely bittersweet! Again, I do not post much on this topic. Only because I am just one of those people who don't know what to say in situations like these. I could never imagine loosing a child! You have been through so very much. And to do it all with not much family around. You are a very courageous woman!

I believe that Katlyne is guiding her little brother! Her and God will make sure that you take Casey home to a beautiful family.

Email me anytime for lunch, lady!


Sherry Fisher (28)
DH: Bill (35)
Proud Mama to:
#1) Alex 1/1/94-PE
#2) Abbie 12/17/97-PIH
#3 Will 08/03/02-PP PE
#4) Anna 04/06/04 - PE
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyfish3/
Baby Annna;
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyfish4/
sherry fisher
Registered User
 
Posts: 384
Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 11:06 am

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby annegarrett » Wed Jun 30, 2004 12:27 am

Write a personal email to our Director of Communications--Eleni Tsigas. Her email is eleni@preeclampsia.org She had to do just this as she lost her first child Nikonia and she had another (two more actually) who were fine. I know Eleni has some pictures of Nicki in the nursery and she has made a "place" like an angel shelf for her--and I think (though not from personal experience) that thinking of your Katelyne as a special angel for Casey might be helpful--if that is a philosophy you can feel comfortable with. It helps me to think of my mom as being my angel and I feel more with her when I think that way. It helps me cope. Big hugs to you--you have been through so much. Sometimes--the healthiest and toughest thing to do is to go through the grief without a plan--because most plans end up going out the window anyway. There is no right or wrong way to feel--and maybe it will help to know that. I wish I could do more. Know we love you and are here for you every step of the way.

Anne Garrett
Executive Director
Preeclampsia Foundation
User avatar
annegarrett
Registered User
 
Posts: 2525
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 01:58 pm
Location: Lake Stevens, Washington

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby julie f » Wed Jun 30, 2004 03:50 pm

T,

I have no idea what to say, just wanted to send you big hugs. This is something I struggle with myself as I think about the new baby we're praying to bring home in February. I sometimes feel guilty for being so excited and hopeful. I just try and remember that it was Zach who taught me how to love so much that my heart might burst and to cherish everything I hold dear, to never take it for granted. So in that, he will be a part of every relationship I have with my future babies.

Thinking of you,

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

Southern California Coordinator
User avatar
julie f
Registered User
 
Posts: 7993
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2003 11:56 am

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby catherine » Wed Jun 30, 2004 04:50 pm

Hi T and Julie, I have no idea just what dealing with this will entail for you, but I wish you both well.

I hope that you don't mind me saying this, you loved Katlyne and Zachary with everything that you had, right down to the bottom of your soul for all the precious time that you had with them. The biggest gift that you can give their memories is to grasp the chance to love another child that much. So I hope that you can find a way to move forward, to be able to embrace the process without reservation. I'm sure that Zach and Katlyne know that you would have given everything you had, to have been able to do the things that you'll do for and with Casey and miracle #2 and that is surely enough for them.

Hugs and kisses

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors
User avatar
catherine
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 2832
Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2003 05:53 pm

Re : How did you deal with bring a new baby home?

Postby annegarrett » Wed Jun 30, 2004 05:19 pm

I just love you guys. (Cue the whale-song music). Take care!!



Anne Garrett
Executive Director
Preeclampsia Foundation
User avatar
annegarrett
Registered User
 
Posts: 2525
Joined: Tue Jan 21, 2003 01:58 pm
Location: Lake Stevens, Washington

Next

Return to Grief and Loss

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests