I have been lurking for a day or so reading all the posts and enjoying the funny moments :o) always nice to look on the bright side.
I do just want to add a quick 2 cents worth of my opinion for suze or anyone else who struggles with her same concern. I'm from B.C. and I had severe IUGR and fetal destress for weeks with my daughter before she was finally born by c-sec at 31 weeks 1 day due to P.E. We were in the SCN for 5 weeks with her and all over the province (almost like a SCN tour of BC). There was lots of fun stuff surrounding all those events and that part of our lives, but I don't want to rehash it again or take up reading time (I have a hard time keeping my posts short, simple and too the point... but I'm trying!), but it was unpleasant and a bumpy road... I'm sure you all are more than aware. We are now happily preggers (almost 24 weeks) with our second child (A BOY!!!).
First, you are not wrong to want to have another child even after such a horrible and traumatic experience and you should never feel shamed for wanting that, its natural and children are SUCH a gift, why wouldn't we want more :) It is a normal human thought to think after such trauma, doesn't make it right tho. I personally feel that yes I see the facts and statistics, but I refuse to focus on them and worry and stress about what tomorrow brings. Bad things happen every day, but if we tried to avoid all things with the potential to harm us... well... you couldn't. I also feel that positive thinking is half the battle. So you can either take on an attitude of "I am positive I will not develop PE (etc) with this pregnancy and I'm going to be in control, on the ball BUT not worry about it and be smart and informed instead" or the alternative positive thinking of "I'm positively, absolutely sure I'm going to develop PE etc this time and even if I'm not sure, I'm going to worry and stress about it anyway." Which brings me to my next point. Worry and guilt are useless emotions IMO :). Worry is just a human emotion that shaves years off of a persons life and can actually affect the outcome of a situation negatively (esp if that situation is growing inside of you and directly attached to your blood pressure). I am yet to hear of someone who worried themselves into a better position in life. You can't enjoy life when you are so engulfed with worry and stress.
On a lighter note... my "funny" moments during the PE ordeal...
Morphine was fun... actually everything was pretty funny while on morphine :)
After finally being allowed to get out of bed after the c-sec I decided to try to use the lu for the first time (one of those big surgery milestones). However, my husband, who was stuck like glue to me during my hospital stay (having me black out in the shower was enuf for him) accompanied me on my journey. Not quite sure of the turn of events still, but somehow he bumped the call button in the bathroom while helping me on the throne and suddenly all of the maternity ward staff, it seemed, were at my bathroom door milling around me including my doctor. So now I can look back and laugh and think... 10% of Langley's population now knows what I look like in my most vulnerable state. Yeah... nothing kills the moment on the throne quite like that moment.
Mommy to Grace Lillian - January 20th 2004, 31 weeks 1 day @ 2lbs 13oz - severe complications due to PE. Number 2 due next September!