I'm so sorry to hear about your rough night. I am also a passionate animal lover. I had to put my kitty to sleep in college that I got for my 5th b-day. She had progressive bone cancer. It was so hard, but she needed the peace. The sad thing was, we knew this was coming, and had attempted it for the 1st time(Our vet, a family friend, came to our home b/c he knew the office would traumatize her further.) about a week before, and she came running out of "her bedroom" for the first time in weeks of not moving at all from the same spot. So of course, we couldn't do it then, so we just waited, and she got horribly worse very quickly.
I can definitely empathize - I'll keep you in my prayers!
Oh - BTW, have you ever seen the children's book "Kitty Heaven" (they also have "Dog Heaven")? I have that book and it really helped me cope!
Mommy to Emily Kate
Born 9/23/03, 3lbs 7.8oz
SEVERE PE / HELLP