As for the other question- I had a bout of irrationality/melodrama when I was pregnant with Camille. I didn't mention it on the boards, but I was pretty convinced we were going to lose her, given the type of complications we were having, and her behavior. (I say irrationality and melodrama because I have never even approached the loss you guys have, with your dear ones.)
I bought all the stuff, taped the receipts to the boxes/labels and brought them over to my mom's. The DAY before my section- we brought just what we needed to start with over and put it together. I cried the whole time. I didn't actually allow myself to think we'd get to keep her until I heard her cry for the first time- and then I lost it and got hysterical. (Then the anesthesiologist upped my meds, and I passed out and started snoring, waking up only three times- each time to ask the doc how my placenta looked[:I])
Not that this is a great or healthy plan of attack... but isn't it weird how people respond to things?
Allie 5-13-98 (35 weeks-pre-e)
Baby Camille 4-17-03 (36 weeks- htn and oligo)