Just saying hi....

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby denise » Mon Aug 02, 2004 07:59 pm

I am so sorry you've have to go through this. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts. You are in my heart.

Ariana-born 5/3/03 at 35 weeks due to HELLP Syndrome/pre-e: 4 lbs, 17 1/2 inches
TTC #2 starting in October!

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby tinalowe » Mon Aug 02, 2004 04:18 pm


I am so sorry. I can understand how you feel. I was so happy that Emma was going to meet my grandmother. She was her first grandchild. She is 82 now and I am afraid we won't have one before she leaves us. HEr health has been declining over the past few years and rapidly over the past couple of months. Great big hugs for you!!

Tina 23
DH Dereck 26

Emma Victoria stillborn 12-28-03 severe pre-e

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby e_allen » Mon Aug 02, 2004 03:45 pm

more bad news: ethans grandpa is really sick with cancer. we were happy cause he was going to be able to meet janell before he dies but... well, you know. now it looks like he has about 3 more months and wont be around to meet our next child when ever it decides to come... this is really upsetting to me. i really wanted him to be able to meet our child and now shes gone.

Janell Victory stillborn July 25, 2004 @ 31 weeks

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby heatherbbb » Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:23 am

I am so sorry you've had to go through this. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. I have had many of the same feelings. I just dreamt last night that I was holding my son. I was so upset when I realized it was a dream. Numbness or denial is a part of grief. In my first few months after losing Seth, I felt like it was all unreal. I wish you all the very best and wish I could do something to ease your pain. Unfortunately time is really the only effective way to heal.

Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
Due with baby # 2 Feb 1, 2005

for faith
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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby for faith » Mon Aug 02, 2004 08:24 am

Liz ~ I am so sorry, I have tears as I write this. I had so many of your feelings just 6 months ago and still do have many. This is the hardest thing that no one should have to endure.

This grief will always be with us, just in different forms. There will always be that question about why me, I have found I will go crazy if I let my mind go there.

I am praying that you will find some peace. We understand here, please share anytime. Just as the others have said, please email if there is anything I can do or just to talk.

mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby annegarrett » Sun Aug 01, 2004 01:11 pm

Thank you so much for sharing. We are all thinking of you--many women on this board have written me and shared that your loss had them in tears--we all feel so badly. I know this grief and I have nothing that will make it better. Maybe it will help to know that many of the women you see who are pregnant have also had losses--some 1/3 of all pregnant women have miscarriages--I know I have, I know many of the women here have. It is terribly cruel though that there are those who do not care for themselves or their babies and yet have healthy babies. That is the saddest thing--mostly for the babies that will be suffering. I used to teach special education and one of my students was a boy who was born with fetal alcohol syndrome. This disease makes it so that there is no "cushion" between what offends one and your response--so the child would go from fine to violently angry in a nanosecond and very little could be done to teach him to control this. He lived in foster care because ultimately his mother gave him up and his father came in and out of his life--promising to take him home--a promise the boy believed--but never following through. As we talked about at the conference--there are many levels of * and believe it or not--most people are well acquainted with at least one of them. I thought I was alone in this for many years--when we started I was in this vacumn and people thought I was crazy--why couldn't I just "get over it". When you are ready for company--you have a lot of it. I know at least four women in Washington who have lost a baby at or near term who are members of our group. These women really get what you are going through. I am so sorry that you are in this terrible place of pain. If I could do anything to make it easier--to be there--I can and will...please know that.

Anne Garrett
Executive Director
Preeclampsia Foundation

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby amillhouse » Sun Aug 01, 2004 07:44 am

Thanks for your candor - I think it also helps to share, though I am not very good at it (at least not verbally). I have felt so much of what you descibed. At 5.5 months from Isaiah's death everything is still quite raw. I don't know how long it takes but we have to go through it I suppose. We are here for you.


Mommy to Isaiah Dumisani Millhouse
20 January - 17 February 2004
Born at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia
Died at 28 days old of pneumonia
610 grams at birth
950 grams at death
My Angel Boy
"My firstborn, I will never forget you, always love you, and never replace you"
Isaiah's Website

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby tanya » Sun Aug 01, 2004 07:07 am

Oh Liz,

I am having such a hard time responding to your last post because my alligator tears are getting in the way. I again am sooo sorry you and Ethan are having to go through this difficult time. Please know you guys are in my thoughts and prayers.[:(]

Take Care,
Leah born 2/4/99 at 34 weeks ...PIH
Miscarriage 10 weeks
Grant born 3/29/01 at 31 weeks... Severe PE
Miracle #3 EDD 01/27/05

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby tinalowe » Sat Jul 31, 2004 11:28 pm


I am so sorry for what you are going through. It just doesn't seem fair for any mother to lose their child. I used to look at other women and wonder why? What was so different about me that my precious baby had to die and theirs got to live. It's something we will never understand and unfortunately there are no answers. I too missed my dh. He was off work and with me for an entire week. When he went back to work it was so hard all I did was slept and cried I wanted so bad for him to be there. I am sure I speak for all of us when I say we are here anytime you need to talk. I know most of us have never met but we are all bound together by this horrible disease and the tragedy it has wrought on our lives. I love this board and it's people, you are the only ones who can fully understand the feelings we share.

Tina 23
DH Dereck 26

Emma Victoria stillborn 12-28-03

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Re : Just saying hi....

Postby angelkat » Sat Jul 31, 2004 08:10 pm


It's so normal with the things you are feeling. Grief is not an easy process and no two people have the same grief. I'm so sorry for your loss, no words could ever say how sad I am for you and your family.

Please give yourself time for the grief process to even to start. It took me a very long time before I even felt like a human again.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need anything please feel free to e-mail me or even call me collect!!....

Sending you hugs and love

Moderator Grief and Loss
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~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
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