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DD is 4 today

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DD is 4 today

Postby kara » Wed Nov 11, 2009 09:56 pm

by kara (6614 Posts), Wed Nov 11, 2009 09:56 pm

This year has been a bit different then birthdays in the past. We are far away from all family, so it's been a little more intimate and "grown-up". The emotions aren't quite as raw as in years past. The emotions are different. My little baby is growing up and I'm so happy and sad at the same time! What's a mommy to do? :-) I've shed only a few tears tonight after singing to her and putting her to bed (and now typing this).

I have mommy guilt, and survivor guilt for both of us. I have guilt for not being as patient as I should be with my little sensory girl, and for not setting aside as much time for her - but I suppose we all wish we had more time. But I'm so, so proud of her in so many ways. She is the light of my life.

I'm just so very grateful that I saw the back of her bald, pink head when they finished reviving her and took her from my bed to the isolette. I had a great sense of relief that all was going to be ok in the end. And it is. I remember the torture of not being able to see her, or have control over what was going on. It has forever changed my life.

I registered her at the new pediatrician today (since we recently moved), and filling out all the paperwork brought back some of the deeper embedded memories - not to mention it's her birthday. I wasn't sure I'd have enough lines following the question "Were there any problems with the pregnancy or birth"...but here we are. In one piece. As healthy as you could hope to be. And another year older...and sassier.
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby jamie w » Wed Nov 11, 2009 10:56 pm

by jamie w (978 Posts), Wed Nov 11, 2009 10:56 pm

Happy Birthday Miss Avery!
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby hols537 » Thu Nov 12, 2009 06:53 am

by hols537 (1031 Posts), Thu Nov 12, 2009 06:53 am

Happy Birthday Avery!
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby amandaoasis » Thu Nov 12, 2009 09:09 am

by amandaoasis (541 Posts), Thu Nov 12, 2009 09:09 am

Happy 4th Birthday Avery!
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby jenn » Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:31 am

by jenn (2038 Posts), Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:31 am

HaPpY BiRtHdAy AvErY!

Kara, well said.
As I'm about to say good bye to age 4 with Natalia *sniff sniff* I must say, it was a blast! Going in a curious toddler and now a 5yr old to-be little sophisticated young lady. You'll love every minute!
Hugs & luv!! Jenn
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby season » Thu Nov 12, 2009 02:48 pm

by season (1416 Posts), Thu Nov 12, 2009 02:48 pm

Happy Birthday Avery!!!

Birthdays for our special little ones will probably always be bittersweets for the mommas.
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby heather j » Thu Nov 12, 2009 03:41 pm

by heather j (4882 Posts), Thu Nov 12, 2009 03:41 pm

Sassier is *always* good (have one of that variety, myself!). Happy birthday, big girl!
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby trish » Thu Nov 12, 2009 08:44 pm

by trish (2949 Posts), Thu Nov 12, 2009 08:44 pm

Happy Birthday Avery. Great job mama!!
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby sarab » Fri Nov 13, 2009 01:08 am

by sarab (2950 Posts), Fri Nov 13, 2009 01:08 am

Wow, four already! I don't think a birthday will ever go by where you don't stop for a minute and catch your breath.

Hope Avery's day was wonderful!
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Re : DD is 4 today

Postby kdreher » Mon Nov 16, 2009 03:11 pm

by kdreher (2482 Posts), Mon Nov 16, 2009 03:11 pm

Happy Birthday Avery.

I didn't realize she was a tiny as Michael was....who will be 1 in 4 days. We had his party yesterday and after he and I sat and opened his gifts (after party) I had a good cry...for so many reasons. I know exactly how you feel.
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