Hi everyone. I wanted to give an update due to the outpore of concern. (thank you for caring sooo much!) I was scheduled for a d&c that never took place due to dr. error. Little did I realize how happy I am that never happened. The following week I lost my pregnancy in the comfort of my own home with my family at my side. Baby Blaze past Dec. 6th 2003.
That same evening, by chance, was gathering at local cemetery for parents whom lost children. My husband and I attended. It helped to know the pain I felt was real and others have felt this too. I'm not one to cry, but let me tell you... there wasn't a dry eye there. We got to say goodbye - that was so important. Blaze was our child even though we never met.
I learned so much from this chapter of my life. From expecting the unexpected, to finding complete strangers cared for us, so many things like this. I see the world through different eyes since.
Blaze will forever live in our hearts. He (yes, i swear our baby was a he, forgive me Blaze if I am wrong) is at peace in an urn box in our home. His urn box has a diamond cross and his name upon it. My husband and I were able to get exact matching diamond necklaces. We were them always to carry our son with us. He did exsist, and forever will in our hearts! I (we) love you Blaze!
A chapter has come to an end. But a new begining has started. The one thought that helps me to begin this new chapter is knowing I will be with Blaze someday... so in a way his passing is not permanent. And I know he's here with us every step of the way till the day we meet.
Thank you to everyone for your support, love, kindness, caring, friendship, etc. It has helped me to get through this. I have learned from you, and promise to carry on what you have taught me.
All my love!
Jaidyn Riley 1.24.01 PE/HELLP (10 wk, 2lb. 12oz.)
Angel Blaze 12.6.03 (miscarriage)