The worst week of my life..

[craigh]

Thank you all so much. Does anyone know of someone I can talk to who might be able to review her records and see if the OB took the appropriate steps neer the end of her pregnancy? I am not looking to pin blame on someone for the loss of the baby but there seems to me that they didnt take some steps I would have thought they should. For example, 3 weeks prior to the loss of the baby we had an ultrasound, at that ultrasound the doctor expressed concern that the baby was behind 2 weeks in grouth. The monday prior to his loss my wife was concerned with lack of movement, she called the OB and they told her to eat a candy bar and drink a soda, she should feel 8 movements per hour, my wife told her that she was not comfotable with that because he normally was active and she hadnt felt anything. The OB replied with "You can come in and I'll try and find the heart beet, but your NOT getting an ultrasound".. Rather harsh I must say. Heather went in and the doctor only found the heart beet for a few seconds then nothing and then again for a few seconds, not enough to follow the pattern. She then said to Heather "Are you satisfied with that?" Upset by her rudeness Heather left in tears. I have talked to a few people and they said at the very least they should have done a "Stress Test" on the baby? I would have thought that because of the previous ultrasound which the doctor was concernd about the baby's health that it would have triggered something in the doctors brain that there may be a serious issue and perhaps they should check a little better then with a heart monitor.. Now I am not the type of person that is trying to blame this on someone, but I just dont know if what the OB did is right or not and my gut is telling me that something more should have been done. I just dont have that closer that everything that could have been done was, I just have a weird feeling and I need that sense of closer. I understand doctors arnt gods and there may have been nothing they could have done, but I feel like my poor son wasnt even given a fighting chance.. Who can I talk too?

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Mom and I love and miss you very much.. Shane Andrew, April 25, 2004

[craigh]

Lisa, yes we have spoke to the doctors in the hospital about what will happen in a future pregnancy, they had her on a heperin IV, she now gets lovinox injections and takes coomiden (sorry im a terrable speller).. Apperently if she gets pregnant again she will have to get lovinox injections twice a day for the entire pregnancy because coomiden cannot be used during pregnancy. Is the injection her only option? Thats alot to get stuck with a needle, isnt there any other oral medications she could take? I know these are all questions for the doctors I am just not a calm paciant person when it comes to this..

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Mom and I love and miss you very much.. Shane Andrew, April 25, 2004

[mada]

Craig,
I am not really sure who you should talk to...and I don't want to rattle blame on anyone either, However, I can certainly understand why you and your wife feel that something more should have been done. With what your wife was reporting to her doc, I find it strange that a NST and U/s wasn't done. I am a firm believer in gut feelings, so do what you need to do to feel okay about all this. Take good care, Mada

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.

[angelkat]

Craig...

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. You can request copies of your wife's medical records from the hospital and also from the doctor. I would make an appt with a Peri and ask there thoughts.

I remember while recoving from an emerg c-sec the doc that dilv our daughter came in and sat down and said I just read your whole chart. Next time you want to have a baby please see me first, you were very mismanaged. Did that help?... In a way it did.
I hope the records will give you closure.
Prayers for comfort,peace and stregth for you and your family....

Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)
Ky (11)
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03) & Casey (EDD 09/10 or 09/11-Sure he will be here in Aug)
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[craigh]

Thank you, I'll take your advise. I am just afraid of how it will feel if it is discovered that more could/should have been done. What is a Peri?

Thank you all so much, I hope one day I can return your kindness!

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Mom and I love and miss you very much.. Shane Andrew, April 25, 2004

[mada]

Craig,
A perinatologist is a high risk OB. You may hear the term MAternal fetal medicine doctor. Same thing. I am not sure were you live but 2 websites that may help you in locating one of these types of doctors are www.nasshp.org (these doc's specialize in hypertension in pregnancy) and www.smfm.org I hope this helps you. Goodluck...

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.

[craigh]

Thanks, I live in Allentown PA

-------------------
Mom and I love and miss you very much.. Shane Andrew, April 25, 2004

[meljoi]

Craig-
Let me say how sorry I am for what you and your wife have been through-my thoughts are with you and your family. You have found an incredible resource here, the women and their knowledge is unbelievable.
A peri, is a perinataologist-a high risk o.b.-they should be able to review your wife's records. Hopefully they will find all the answers you are searching for. This is going to be a very long road for your family-you should know that you are not alone-unfortunately, there are many here that have lost their hearts to the death of their child.
Please keep us posted on how you all are doing.

Melissa Joi 32
DH Jeremy 43
mama to Peyton John 12/04/00 (severe pre-e @ 38wks)
2nd babe due 11/26/04

[josiah1112]

HI Craig,

I am so, so sorry about your baby. I can't help but feel
so full of compassion towards your wife. Please tell her that
regardless of the outcome she did everything she could at the time...
Those of us who lose a baby are initially very tormented by the "what if's?" For myself, it has helped to get as educated as possible when it comes to pre eclampsia. In terms of closure-
you have to find what works for you. Personally, I wrote a letter
to the high risk doctor that had managed part of my pregnancy-
a red flag was raised- when my triple screener came back high. I basically shared what I had learned and encouraged her to do things
differently with someone else that may walk into her office with
pre eclampsia or the potential risk of developing pre eclampsia.
I have another friend who is suing the pants off of her doctor.
She was always able to make it through her pregnancies by having
a cerclage placed. This new docor insisted that she did not
need one. One thing then lead to another and her daughter was
born at 20 weeks. Anyway, I'm so sorry Craig. Please tell your
wife that so many of us here can sympathize with her and you!
Take Care,


Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

Future Adoptive Mom

[lisac]

Hi Craig,

I too will be taking injections every 12 hours during pregnancy. I really have always hated needles, but I don't think this will be all that bad. I've even tried a practice shot myself. The needle is so thin, and it just goes under the skin. I've heard from many women that after they get use to it, they don't even think twice about it.
I wish I didn't have to do it, but the potential benefit is well worth it. I don't think that heparin/lovenox can be taken orally.
Lisa