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Julie--How are you doing?

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Julie--How are you doing?

Postby ann marie » Fri Jul 16, 2004 01:21 pm

Hi Julie,

I know that you are coming up on Zachary's birthday and I was wondering how you are doing?? I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Ann Marie (29)Moderator for "Ask the Experienced"
DH: Matt (32)
PIH/PE/Low Amniotic Fluid
Luke 3/17/04--37 weeks after 15 weeks of bedrest
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby julie f » Sat Jul 17, 2004 09:29 pm

Thank you for thinking of me Ann Marie.

Oh, I don't know how I'm doing. Some days I think I'm doing ok, I'm quite sure that a lot has to do with being pregnant again, I feel like Zach is with us, watching over his new brother or sister. Most days lately, I think I'm pretty numb, it's almost like I'm just floating through life, waiting to hit 32 weeks and I don't want to feel too much happiness or sadness until then. I'm also feeling guilty at times, for being excited about this new life while still mourning Zach. Pretty lonely too I guess, like I can't believe that the world didn't stop, not even for just a second, for my broken heart.

I just can't believe it's been a year already. Often, it seems like it was just yesterday but sometimes, it feels like it was a lifetime ago. A year ago, I was in the hospital telling my husband not to worry because I was going to stay put until I hit 32 weeks, then 36 and then we'd get to meet our baby. A year ago, I didn't really know what preeclampsia meant... Crazy how our lives change in an instant.

Zach was the most precious gift I've ever been given. I never knew how much love a heart could hold until I held him, I never just how much a heart could break until his spirit flew to heaven. I am so grateful for his life and so thankful for those five precious days.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby amillhouse » Sun Jul 18, 2004 03:25 am

((((((( Julie )))))))) you are wonderful mom. . .


Mommy to Isaiah Dumisani Millhouse
20 January - 17 February 2004
Born at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia
Died at 28 days old of pneumonia
610 grams at birth
950 grams at death
My Angel Boy
"My firstborn, I will never forget you, always love you, and never replace you"
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby ann marie » Sun Jul 18, 2004 05:33 am

We're all here for you Julie. I'm sure Zach is watching over you and your baby. I'll be keeping you in prayer. Make sure to let us know how you are doing this week.

Ann Marie (29)Moderator for "Ask the Experienced"
DH: Matt (32)
PIH/PE/Low Amniotic Fluid
Luke 3/17/04--37 weeks after 15 weeks of bedrest
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby angelkat » Sun Jul 18, 2004 05:56 am


My thoughts and prayers are with you this week and as always. Just know that Zach is right there with you helping thru this preg as he wants to see you happy also. I know how hard it is with all the different feelings and emotions running around and I'm praying this will be a good week for you.

My thoughts and prayers for comfort,peace and strength are with you and your DH this week as always.

Do you have any special things planned for this week?

Moderator Grief and Loss
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Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby 5thtymachrm » Sun Jul 18, 2004 07:40 am


I can't even imagine your pain right now. You are in my prayers.


Indigo E. 11/20/03:37wks, PIH
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby josiah1112 » Sun Jul 18, 2004 05:23 pm

I'll be thinking of you...Julie, you have a real gift with words. Did
anyone ever tell you this before? You capture the essence of things so well...

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby for faith » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:04 am

My heart goes out to you, I pray for peace for you during this difficult time. I pray that Zach is watching your new little blessing and will guide him or her safely into your arms. Each day is so hard, but anniversaries so much harder, we are here for you.

I hope you are able to have a peaceful week. Sending you lots of HUGS.

mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby aimeejane » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:48 am

Julie, our love and thoughts are with this week as well. I wish you peace... (((HUGS)))

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Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)
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Re : Julie--How are you doing?

Postby matts_mom » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:40 am

i started crying when i read this thread. i usually stay away from the grief board because i get become so emotional. in 1989 i lost my baby at 5 months, not from medical problems but because i was with an abuser. when i had matthew, even with all the problems, it was a most cathartic experience for me, very cleansing for my emotional side and spiritual side. i never even considered children because i was afraid of losing the feelings i had all those years ago. i hung on to the pain and anger for so long that it became a cornerstone of my personality. before matthew, the last baby i held was my nephew. he is 13 now.

julie, you will never have what you felt with zach but what you can have will make such a difference. i think any mom who has lost a child and then had another can tell you that. you will be amazed by the amount of healing that will happen. i was. i hope zach's birthday will bring more comfort than pain for you and your husband.

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