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How to deal with what was to be due date

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Re : How to deal with what was to be due date

Postby taras mom » Thu Oct 16, 2003 07:01 pm

by taras mom (841 Posts), Thu Oct 16, 2003 07:01 pm

That's a great idea! Tara's NICU (at the UW) had little quilts and hats and booties donated by Quilters Anonymous. We keep them with her ultrasounds, hospital bracelet, and other treasures. Someone out there was thinking of our Mighty Girl before she was even born!

We had her birthstone added to our wedding rings, too. It reminds me of when she WAS born rather than when she should have been.

Carol (38)
DH Bill (39)
Tara Mairichi
12/7-12/9, 2002
The Mightiest Little Angel
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Re : How to deal with what was to be due date

Postby sweetiesuzy » Sun Oct 19, 2003 07:35 pm

by sweetiesuzy (2404 Posts), Sun Oct 19, 2003 07:35 pm

I have just been reading through all of these posts. My husband and I got married July 2001 and I became pregnant on our homeymoon! Then Chloe died. I feel your pain and I am so sorry for all that you are going through right now. Chloe's first year for her due date was very hard. My husband and I spent the day together. It really, just to be honest, sucked. To make it all worse... I had my period that day. A real YOU AREN'T PREGNANT slap in the face. But somehow the day came and went. I miss her everyday. My grief has changed, but she is forever a part of me and has forever changed my life.
I will keep in you thought during the difficult time. Maybe you could do something special to honor her... even if it is simply lighting a candle and talking to her in your own special way.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined." - Thoreau
DS 3/25/95
DD Stillbirth 10/26/01
DS 12/30/02

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Re : How to deal with what was to be due date

Postby kdreher » Sun Oct 26, 2003 03:58 pm

by kdreher (2482 Posts), Sun Oct 26, 2003 03:58 pm


I think what you are doing sounds like it brings you some comfort. For a long time, I did not know what to do with myself, but as time wore on I knew I had to live. I don't remember Tylers' actual due date since the pre-e and HELLP struck at 26 wks. March 9th will always be the day he came in to the world and my life and March 23rd will be the day he became my angel in heaven. That two week period, after 8 yrs, is still very hard for me. Along with other times throughout the year.

My family has always been there for me. My son was buried with my grandmother, who had been deceased for over 15 yrs. She adored us kids! When my grandfather was ready to join my grandmother, he told my father to add Tyler's name to the headstone, 7 yrs later. What strength that brought me to see!!! For the past three years, on Tyler's birthdate, my mother drops off a card and small gift. Usually earrings, bracelet or something that has his birthstone in it. He is with me wherever I go. Just last year I had the polaroid of Tyler blown up and have an 8x10 hanging next to my bed.

Give yourself some time and you will know what fells right!

Kris (34)
DH, Tom (33)
Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks pe/HELLP) or
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Re : How to deal with what was to be due date

Postby julie f » Mon Oct 27, 2003 07:50 pm

by julie f (7993 Posts), Mon Oct 27, 2003 07:50 pm


I just wanted to let you know that I just made it through my due date, October 25. It was actually a very peaceful day for my husband and I. I spent the morning writing many long overdue thank you notes to people who helped so much throughout my hospital stay, the funeral and afterwards. Then we spent the rest of the day doing things that we enjoy together but never seem to find time for.

I feel like we have passed all of the days that things "should" be happening on and now, we can honor the days that we did have and look forward to future dates.

I pray that you are blessed with a very peaceful day as well.

Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26 weeks due to severe pe
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Re : How to deal with what was to be due date

Postby twolfgram » Wed Oct 29, 2003 12:55 am

by twolfgram (388 Posts), Wed Oct 29, 2003 12:55 am

Hi Ladies,

My husband and I were just talking about this last night. My due date was March 5. I was actually on a plane to CO to visit my sister for a few days. I feel "lucky" if that's what you can call it, that the due date didn't bother me. My son was born at 28 weeks due to HELLP and I was sure something like that would happen again, so the actual due date wasn't real for me. I honestly have no idea when Erik WOULD have been born, just that he was stillborn on Dec 20. The fact that it's been almost a year is astounding to me. I never thought I'd get over it, but I'm doing good! Thanks for listening!

Therese Mom to
Jonathan - 28 weeks born 10/4/95
Angel in Heaven - Erik 12/20/02
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Re : How to deal with what was to be due date

Postby kimb » Fri Nov 21, 2003 08:42 am

by kimb (140 Posts), Fri Nov 21, 2003 08:42 am

Just thought I would update and let everyone know I did ok. There were of course some tears - but I think I'm hanging in there pretty good. My husband and I are off to the ocean for the weekend to spend some quality time together - the first chance since our wedding almost one year ago. Thank you to everyone for your support!! You are all amazing!
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