Today is March 31, 2005. The past 5 weeks will be a time a never
Post On Thursday, March 31, 2005 By Melissa
Today is March 31, 2005. The past 5 weeks will be a time a never forget.
On November 5, 2004, I found out I was pregnant. I was completely shocked, but very happy. On November 15, 2004, I found out I was pregnant with twins. Of course I was again shocked and overwhelmed, but I felt completely blessed. I met with my OB/GYN on December 1, 2004, and we started all of my testing to receive the best prenatal care available. Due to me having hypertension prior to pregnancy she informed me that my pregnancy would be considered, "high risk". I don't think I knew exactly what she meant by "high risk", but i know now! My doctor recommended that I should see a High Risk Maternal FEtal Specialist. I chose Duke University medical Center.
Throughout my pregnancy my blood pressure usually remained a borderline high rate. I was on Methopa (spelling?) and then Labetalol was added later. The protein in my urine was present from the start. My doctor had also informed me that at 28 weeks I would be put on bed rest. So mentally I was prepared for a "different pregnancy".
On February 21, 2005, I went to a doctor's appointment with my oB/GYN and my blood pressure was 160/112. I was only 22 weeks and 5 days pregnant. My doctor also said the protein in my urine had increased. She put me on bedrest and sent me to the labor and delivery ward at the local hospital. When I got to the hospital they monitored my babies (boy and girl Chauncey Jr. and Camryn Diona) and my blood pressure. She (nurse) also collected a 24 hour urine. After medication and monitoring the hospital sent me home the same day.
On Wednesday, February 23, 2005, my life changed forever. I went to the Duke Clinic for a monthly ultrasound to check on my babies' growth. In the meantime my doctor called and told them to keep me and admit to the hospital. The results came back from my 24 hour protein and it had 1000 ML. My blood pressure again was up 160/114.
I ended up being in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks. My blood pressure finally became normal after being on hydrolozine and labetolol. THe doctor's never gave me a good prognosis for the babies. Since Camryn was so small they did not think she was going to survive. However, they did think that CJ may have a chance as long as my health stayed stable. The fact that I was so early in pregnancy was also against me. On the day that I hit 25 weeks one of the doctors made their usual visits that morning and said that if they had to take the babies that day they had a higher chance of survival with out birth defects. That morning the nurse did her usual vitals and the babies heartbeats were a little lower than usual, but still considered "normal". Then I went for a growth scan of the babies because there had been a decrease of amniotic fluid around them.
AT the ultrasound we noticed CJ's heartbeat was only 94, and eventually we (me and radiologist) saw him take his last two heartbeats. To see my baby die in front of me was so hard. I couldn't believe it. Then when we looked at Camryn her heartbeat was 120, but she was not active at all which was abnormal. The doctor came in a said that she had a very low chance of survival and it would be best if they induced my labor to vaginaly deliver my twins.
When I went back to my hospital room that day I felt sadness and anger. I have a lot of faith in God, and I had to ask.......Why me? I thought I would walk out of that hospital with at least one baby.
I will never know why my angels could not live in this world...it's not for me to know. I know that they are in heaven looking down on their mom and dad and making sure we are okay. I love my babies and I will never forget them. I am writing this story just 2 weeks after it happened. I thank God for blessing me with strength and the wonderful support of my family, fiancee, friends, coworkers, etc.
Now that my fiancee' and I have set our wedding date we look forward to trying again, but I hope the next time if I am blessed to get pregnant again that we can have a brother or sister for CJ and CAmryn.