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Post On Wednesday, March 06, 2013 By Lindsey
The stork arrived at the Zabroski's on the August 5th, 2012. We were more than elated to receive such good news of our first child arriving in April 2013.
In November 2012, we received even more amazing news that God has blessed us with baby boy! We instantly named him Bohden Eugene Zabroski, which is Ukrainian for "God's Gift". Little did we know how fitting his name would be. I couldn't wait to decorate his room with all my pinterest ideas. I put together pennants for his room decorations. It was all finally starting to come together.
Just before Christmas 2012, I started to feel a lot of discomfort with my back and fell into a bad cold. I was so happy to start feeling so many kicks and punches, but couldn't help but notice how swollen my feet and hands were at the end of every evening. I started to do some research about mild pregnancy conditions, such as preeclampsia, which causes swollen limbs accompanied by high blood pressure. A week later I asked my doctor about my swollen feet and hands. He said that since my blood pressure was normal and my urine sample came back normal, that they had no reason to be concerned.
On December 28th 2012 (24 weeks pregnant), I started to feel horrible back pain, and chest pain, I thought it was indigestion. After a few hours of unbearable stomach and chest pain we made our way to the ER at 12:50AM. As the nurses started to assess my symptoms they knew right away that something was terribly wrong. The look on the nurses face were nothing short of terrifying when they informed me that my blood pressure read 210/150!!! Everyone was in complete shock that I wasnâ€™t seizing or having a stroke. They immediately started a magnesium sulfide drip to prevent a stroke or a seizure. The nurses called my doctor and diagnosed me with severe preeclampsia/HELLP syndrome. It turned out that my kidneys were shutting down and my liver was about to explode. Preeclampsia is usually masked by normal pregnancy symptoms until it's too late- it truly is a silent killer. My doctor arrived 8 minutes later and checked my vitals and Bohdenâ€™s vitals. His little heart rate was dipping down so low that the doctor was extremely concerned. Dr. Shorter said the only way to save my life and the baby was to proceed with an emergency c-section. At 24 weeks, a baby is barely viable outside of the womb since the lungs are in the beginning stages of development. About an hour later the Stage 3 NICU transport team from a nearby high risk hospital was waiting in the OR for Bohden's arrival.
Bohden Eugene Zabroski was born at 4:10AM on 12/29/12. He was immediately handed over to the NICU transport team. He only weighed 11.8 oz but his color was beautiful tan. The team was expecting at least a 1lb baby, but they realized that Bohden had stopped receiving nutrients a few weeks prior to delivery. He was extremely under weight. Somehow the placenta started to shut down which may have been a direct result of hypertension. There were no sounds of infant cries since his lungs had not fully developed and his eyes were still fused shut. He was considered to be the size of a 20 week old. We were able see our little angel in his incubator for a few seconds before being rushed to another hospital. Bohden officially become the smallest baby ever born at Stafford Hospital.
The rest of the that day was a little bit of a blur to me. Travis, my husband, was able to visit Bohden in the NICU twice that day. Fortunately, Travis gave me our first video camera for Christmas as took it to the NICU so that I could see how Bohden was doing, since I wasnâ€™t able to be transported to that hospital. I was able to watch our tiny son kick his little legs and move his hands as though he had so much to say! I called the NICU 3-4 times that day and spoke with the nurses about Bohdenâ€™s progress. They would tell us how feisty Bohden was since he would always swat away their hands while changing his tubes and checking his vitals. Since his eyes where still fused shut he could still move his eyes from under his lids as he would be frantically trying to see. This gave all of us so much hope that our little miracle was a warrior that had a fighting chance.
On 12/30/12, Travis was able to visit Bohden two more times. Our moms were able to capture on camera Bohden grabbing Travisâ€™ hand through the incubator porthole. It looked as though his little fingers were strumming a guitar or playing a piano. He had so much to say with those amazing little hands. On that evening Travis and the grandmaâ€™s went to visit Bohden for the evening. Once Travis lifted the blanket on the incubator, his monitors began to fluctuate and his oxygen levels began to plummet. He had a respiratory hemmorage and the doctors couldn't save him. After 36 hours of fighting, our son went to be with God at 8:42pm.
The doctors and nurses immediately called the prenatal bereavement counselor. They began to make arrangements for Bohdenâ€™s little body to be transported back to the hospital where I still was so that I could say goodbye to our son. My husband came into my hospital room and told me the devastating news. It was as though the world had fallen away and we were left standing over what our lives use to be. Our entire future was gone in an instant. Bohden arrived an hour later and I was able to hold our son for the first time and see him up close. He was so beautiful! He had blonde fuzzy hair, his daddyâ€™s round head, the cutest button nose, and big hands and feet! We realized that Bohdenâ€™s name had so much more meaning, he became our gift to God.
Thanks to the program developed through our bereavement counselor, we were able to photograph Bohden, bathe him and dress him. We are very grateful for the opportunity to be his parents even if it was for such a short time. We were given books, molds of Bohden's hand/foot prints, and counseling from her. She helped us more than sheâ€™ll ever know and we'll be forever grateful for her program.
Now we want to take the memory of our son and help other families that do not receive the materials and care after their little miracles pass away.Â If we can't parent him in life, then we want to honor his death to help those in need. So many people have come to us with their story of a lost child (neonatal, misscarriages, stillbirth) and it turns out this is something that people rarely discuss. We all think, a child isn't suppose to die. Unfortunately, these tradegies happen everyday. It's such a painful memory but one that we keep so close to our hearts. This is your opportunity to parent or honor that lost child by donating to other families that are in need and feeling this pain that is so recent.
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