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Post On Friday, January 24, 2014 By Yolanda
One day on our way to our final sign off of the wedding venue, my husband and I spoke about kids... not the first time though, but we both decided that we didn't want to wait. We have no reason.
That made me so excited cause I could not wait to be be a mommy. Â Well our wish came true not long after we returned from our honeymoon. Â All the normal signs was there and me and hubby decided that we gonna buy a home test... reading that the best time to do the test was first thing in the morning so we waited. That next morning bright and early I got up and did the test... few seconds went by the minutes and there it was we pregnant all positive... so excited jumped up and down and ran to hubby and said: good morning, daddy :-).
Well then our journey began with our little angel... went for the first sonar and could not believe that a little angel is growing in me. Â What an amazing feeling when you hear that heartbeat for the first time sounds like a horse racing, tears we flowing Â and we could not help but smiling from ear to ear. Â
Every few minutes I would get myself rubbing my tummy hoping to feel something but knowing it was so soon. There after every next visit to the doctor was such a special moment and could not wait to see our little "peanut" . We called him that before we decided on his name. Â We caught him sucking his thumb and dad was saying that is a no-no, I on the other hand just laughed and said that's my boy.
Then at 20 weeks I was up all night from a cramp in my side thinking this is not normal but also realizing that baby is growing. Â In the morning we went to the doctor and a cramp that turned into very high blood pressure, and at that time pre-eclampsia was a word which I have never heard of.
I was admitted immediately and was beyond scared. Â Well all turned out well and home we went with medication and needed to monitor the pressure and going for more frequent visits. Â Going every second week for the pressure test and on 26 weeks I Â had to go again. And this time it was not good as they found protein in my urine, sadly I was admitted immediately and medication was given to improve baby's little lungs. Â So many tears and so scared both me and hubby prayed that out little angel was fine.Â
Monday, 25 November 2013 came and my doctor asked that we go for a sonar to see if all is still good, to our shock she said we taking Ivan out at two that afternoon, later on they moved it to four o clock probably the longest day of our lives. Â Hubby rushing off to buy a few things we might need as we were so unprepared for what was about to happen.
As we prepared ourselves the girls from neo-natal also visited us to explain and tried to keep me as calm as they possibly could.
Then it was time for us to meet our little angel...17:05 he was born everything in place just very small but healthy and so overwhelmed I just cried and looked at him briefly blowing a kiss just so he knows mommy loves him. Â
Hubby was so proud he could not stop looking at him... as I went to recovery I could not wait to see my boy and unfortunately I couldn't due to the drips and everything else, but the next morning at five o clock I called the nurse asked her to take the drip off so I can go see my little boy. Â So emotional I walked up to him and just cried... being happy.Â
Our doctors said do you see those small little feet... that is the steps we gonna take everyday. Â We knew we were gonna be there for a while as he was only suppose to come Feb 2014.Â
Three weeks into our journey we got that dreadful phone call saying Ivan is very very sick. Â He picked up an infection, so by the time we got there he was already on so much drips and different types of medication that I got scared...the doctors were around him and we struggled in between just to touch our little boy...he was such a fighter, Dad bought him his first Super Hero -Superman it was cause he was just a little fighter and with Facebook updates from our Superhero people started praying with us and we knew that with God's healing hand our little Super Hero will be ok... A week later we could see the difference he was improving and we were so relieved. But then another dreadful phone call the specialist pediatrician wanted to see us...that Sunday was the darkest day of my life when they told me our little boy has a level four brain hemorrhage, and that there's nothing we could no. Devastated we tried to comfort each other but nothing can take that pain confusion away. Â We went and tried to find answers and tried to make sense of it all.
The next morning our pediatrician tried to explain but again nothing was making sense until they showed us. Sadly there was nothing that could be done. Â On the 23 of December 2013 which for most of all is a happy time and yet we had to say goodbye to most precious gift God gave us. Â We held him so tight and gave him back you our Father and asked to keep him save until we meet again.
Ivan brought joy to our lives and made us aware as why we want to be parents, he touched so many lives and filled so many hearts that we are so blessed to have had home for magical 28 days. Â On the day of his memorial we stood outside our Church and sent up 28 balloons to say goodbye until we meet again and also to thank our little angel, super hero, for sharing in our love for each other.
I hope that in some way I touch you by just reading our story...and also to help me get better everyday by telling my story.
Ivan, always in our hearts.xxx
My name is Antonella Bartow, I am a pre-eclampsia hellp syndrome survivor, and this is my story. I... Read More