283 NIGHTS After “I DO”

Posted On Monday, February 21, 2011  by MARSHALL

Most people graciously wait for that minute to say “I DO” and kiss the brides of their dreams; for me, it was mixed feelings of great exhilaration and long-sought adventure, to hold the lady of my dream and journey through time!

 

It was about Yuletide in the year 2008 and the atmosphere was best for any memorable event. Wow! Finally after six years of friendship and building a life together, I mustered enough excitement to walk down that aisle with “Adora.”

 

Well, I’m sure you care to meet “Adora.” Actually that is a pet-name coined from the word “adore.” It emerged most suitable for the lady who gave my life more meaning and grace. Simply put, I guess she dropped the gold in me into the goldsmith’s furnace to prepare one of the world’s most treasured gems!

 

Adora and I met way back, in one of Nigeria’s most reputable Universities, at Ibadan. She was an active member of one of the then largest campus fellowships, in the University of Ibadan (U.I). As destiny often shapes people’s paths, her campus fellowship’s office was newly located next door to my on-campus apartment: usually referred to as BQ (boy’s quarters).

 

Our paths crossed on a warm afternoon, under the shades of the typical Indian almond trees which permeated the campus’ BQs: you may want to think about Adam and Eve meeting in the Garden of Eden! She was visiting her fellowship’s office, that memorable afternoon, and it all started with exchange of each other’s harmless “hello” and “hi”. I immediately got attracted to her, as her personality impressed on me as a cute innocent lady who was sold-out to God; having sacrificed all the fun on campus! She was always dressed so simply: wearing absolutely no make-ups, always in skirts and wore just very moderate jewelries; if any at all.

 

From that moment on, my heart felt a deep need to see that she never regretted a day of her commitment to high moral standards and spiritual things: so, I offered myself as her friend who was going to be instrumental in rewarding her seeming years of sacrifice!

 

On Adora’s mind, on the other hand, she had perceived me as shallow handsome “un-churched” lad who needed spiritual help; not knowing I was a man who loved God and was quite committed to His works too!

 

Thereafter, our attraction for each other grew swiftly and was epitomized by the words; “sacrifice” and “adventure”. I could do anything, at any time, to have her around me because her presence ignited my vision and brought me much peace: she was the most positive influence around me, through six years of friendship.

 

Guess what? We never did much of kissing nor caressing, not to even imagine sex; until after our wedding night!

 

Don’t even start imagining how the “honey-moon” went because this story isn’t about that explosive experience but about the much expected fruit of the effort, Ivana.

 

February 2009, after a DIY pregnancy strip test, our little foetus, Ivana, was confirmed on board!

 

My wife being pregnant, for me, was simply joy unspeakable. Like the saying goes, “your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, and your children like olive plants”: what more could a Benedict demand? Thank God for His blessing!

 

Indeed every breed of joy needs to be “speak able” else it could be confused for null satisfaction! Adora for a moment could have thought I was not excited enough about having a baby, at the time Ivana was confirmed, until I convinced her otherwise! Perhaps she was expecting the kind of excitement we often saw on Mexican romantic soap operas? No, that was not it! We had discussed a great deal, while dating, about how many children we were trusting God to have and when we were going to start making babies.

 

I remembered we had planned for two lovely kids so that we could shower more than enough love and attention on them and definitely, we were not planning to geometrically increase the Nigerian populace of over 150 million people, at that time. Also, we had planned to start making babies a year after marriage because Adora was a virgin when we met and we had hoped a year of just ‘knowing’ each other would have made her more psychologically adapted to her new position, as a wife, before becoming a mother.

 

However, here was Ivana coming on barely two months into our marriage! My wife was 29 years when we got married: so after some prior medical advice gotten that it was safer for a woman to have her first baby before crossing the 30 year mark, I changed my mind about the pre-agreed one year sex-adventure before having babies. Anyway, I was now able to convince Adora that Ivana’s conception was well anticipated.

 

Day after day, as Adora woke up, I hugged her warmly within my bosom and I pronounced blessings upon her and Ivana; our great gift from God.

 

We immediately registered for antenatal at one of Lagos’ popular specialist hospitals. Her base line blood pressure, weight, blood level (PCV), and other medical tests, were taken and we were on appointment to visit the hospital fortnightly. Ivana’s development was smooth. Tell you more; about the antenatal visits, what could be more intriguing? We definitely were the most romantic couple visiting the hospital. I wouldn’t leave Adora for just a bit; I wanted to know all she was going through at the time and if it were possible, perhaps I would have borne our foetus for a few months! Just only very few months though!

 

Attending antenatal with Adora was not just about the quest for ‘intriguing’ knowledge but partly also because she could pass as being phlegmatic and I had to be her ‘mouth-piece’ before the doctors, to explain how she was feeling.

 

Our doctors admired us a lot, gave their support and did everything professionally advisable: they always comforted us knowing it was Adora’s first pregnancy.

 

Actually, Adora didn’t have much of the usual incessant nausea and mood swings that I read about, happening to some women, in some cases of first pregnancies; so for us, antenatal visits were just some other rituals we had to observe faithfully.

 

Talking about mandatory rituals, banking could be one hell of a job: my wife was a banker, in one of Nigeria’s foremost banks!

 

Adora had been working as a banker, in the city of Ibadan, over two years, before we got married. Considering Ibadan being about 120km from Lagos, where our home was, we started working towards her transfer to Lagos. Fortunately, her transfer to a Lagos branch of the bank was granted, three months after our wedding.

 

Back here in Lagos, Nigeria, the game is termed survival of the swiftest. You really need to wake up early, to leave for the office every work-day, if you must make any impact in your organization: our day characteristically starts by 5 a.m. with the bleep of different alarms!

 

I often drove Adora to and from work; since I was boss of our company, I could manage my time more flexibly: she never needed a chauffeur! On the other hand, I strongly believe that the more time spent with loved ones augments bonding.

 

How better could a family bond when about 12 hours, of each work day, are constantly burnt at the office? Well, most people don’t have better options. In some cases, they spend all their lives working to keep ‘stomach’ and ‘soul’ intact; at the expense of emotional gratification and marital bliss! For Adora, she immediately started making plans to leave the banking industry, after having Ivana.

 

Work for her seemed a bit stressful because she had to adapt to the new bank’s branch and their modes of operation. Although our doctors always said her blood pressure was within normal levels, she had pedal-oedema (swollen feet) after work presumably because she sat for pretty long hours while working.

 

Our doctors never saw oedema as a big-deal but they always advised her to lift her legs while at the office to reduce the fluid deposit in her feet.

 

She did as the experts advised and we tried to relax a bit at night with movies after dinner before going to bed.

 

In some cases, when she complained about mild discomfort around her shoulder and waist, the soothing warmth of my massage would just do it for Adora!

 

A massive majority of people would often say “thank God it’s Friday but I prefer saying “thank God it’s yet another night”! Nights were the best hours of every work day. You should understand what I mean. Wow! When the conditioned air from a split unit air conditioner smoothly glides over the warmth between two so in love people: hmm, thank God for nights!

 

Now it sure was count-down time as Ivana was growing pretty fast: she was about 34weeks old. Boy! Oh no sorry “man” I should say! The young lad of yesterday about becoming a father in just a few weeks: my’ big-ups’ to God because He’s been faithful all along!

 

I remember, a cozy night, while Adora and I were still friends at the University of Ibadan. We were seated outside one of the post graduate hostels in the University of Ibadan as we talked and projected into the future.

 

Adora was quite reserved so I tried to help her open up better. I once told her a parable how a prince went on the quest searching for his one beloved princess who was only to be identified by him. The prince’s special lady had a sacred mark of royalty which was identifiable only by the crown prince: this sacred mark of royalty was incised on the princess’ tongue. So intriguing it was for the prince, after donkey long years of search, when he met this lovely lady who often talked little with gestures that hid her tongue from him, each time he came around her.

 

Adora asked inquisitively if the prince was finally able to identify the princess but rather than answer her straight, I softly responded by asking; “Do you think we’ll get married in future or we’ll just end up being friends for ever?” She paused for a bit and replied me: “friends for ever!”

 

I had asked her one and the same question because to me marriage was actually a journey for people who wanted to be friends forever. I smiled back at her as we stared deeply into each other’s eyes! Here we are, about six years after I popped that question, living happily under the same roof as a lovely couple; about to have our baby!

 

Sure, yet another night passed and the usual boring work day routine started running by. As my culture was, after work hours, I drove by to my love’s office. Our drive back home was so much fun, as Adora and I feasted on her cold left-over pineapples. Amazingly, her feet did not look swollen and she was looking as gorgeous as ever: completely stress-free!

 

I usually teased her as my ‘pregnant girl-friend’ because to me, she didn’t look differently at all from the time we were dating; the only change seemed to be her tummy which was now protruding!

 

Adora was more than a wife; she also was my finance manager: she structured our home financially. I remember she constrained me to save my first hundred thousand naira, way back before we got married. Of course, after then, I committed all money related issues to her.

 

Our company’s cheques were constantly cleared at the bank she worked for. This night would not have been an exception for finance building: she tried persuading me into stopping by, on our way home, to pick up a client’s cheque but like I suggested earlier, I wouldn’t sacrifice my night with Adora for anything; not even a pending payment!

 

On getting home finally, she cuddled me on our couch as we had dinner watching the scenes of our make-sleep-night movie. I retired to our bedroom expecting much warmth from her that night while she went to have a shower.

 

Reminiscing on one other fad that makes nights really lovely? Dreams!

 

A dream is a succession of thoughts, images, sounds or emotions which the mind experiences during sleep. Some people typically dream, when they sleep, while some others claim they do not. A few people have really crazy dreams; like scary fantasies which come from the numerous activities they had during the day, before going to bed. On another side, some people really dream about things that would yet happen: you should know about popular ‘Joseph-the-dreamer’. Well, whatever category you fall into; I dream!