Re: GUILT...has anyone else experienced this?
Posted On Saturday, October 08, 2011 by Lisa
My husband took me back to UCLA (where I was in intensive care for weeks) and walking the halls was odd. The nursing staff would first see my husband and smile and then their gaze would land on me and they would stand stock still, stare with a shocked expression. Â It was as if I were Lazarus come back from the grave and they could not believe their eyes.
It made me feel so strange. Â For weeks afterwards I told my husband, "I feel like they are family that I left behind and I need to bring them out." Â He said, "No honey, it's their job to be there. They want to be there." Â But I had a hard time believing him (with my emotions. Â I understood it conceptually but could not get over the "survivor guilt.")
I wonder if anyone else has had that experience?
Thanks ahead of time for sharing.
Ethan will be turning 3 at the end of this month (October). The month of October always brings up some scary memories and emotions for me... I never thought I would have a difficult pregnancy or labor. After all...